This morning on the Interstate,


I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman


In a brand new


Cadillac


Doing 70 mph


With her
Face up next to her


Rear view mirror


Putting on her eyeliner.


I looked away


For a couple seconds


And when I looked back she was


Halfway over in my lane,


Still working on that makeup.


As a man,


I don't scare easily.


But she scared me so much;


I dropped


My electric shaver,


Which knocked


The donut


Out of my other hand.

In all
The confusion of trying


To straighten out the car


Using my knees against
The steering wheel,


It knocked


My cell phone <

Away from my ear


Which fell


Into the coffee !


Between my legs,


Splashed,


And burned


Big Boy and the Twins,


Ruined the damn phone,


Soaked my trousers,


And disconnected an
Important call.


Darn women drivers!!