Just be glad youre a Smith, a Jones, a Frank, a Dave or a even a Dweezil. Common names may be boring, but at least youre not bound for a life of teasing, giggling and chattering behind your back. Unless of course, youve been cursed with one of these doozies.

Robert Fagot
We werent terribly surprised to discover that Robert Fagot needed Chuck Woolerys help finding a date. Though its probably not his job thats causing his dating problems like he claims in his introduction video on Love Connection.

Anurag Dik****
Go ahead and laugh at Anurag Dik**** as much as you want, he doesnt care hes one of the richest people in the world. Admit it, youd become a Dik**** for a lot less than a couple of billion.

Sally Mangina
Its ironic that a woman with Mangina as a surname would take up a profession involving balls. But hey, thats part of the mangic of Sally Mangina, tennis coach at lllinois Wesleyan University.

Ben Dova
Ben Dova (not to be confused with the similarly named adult film star) is the stage name of Joseph Spah, a successful Vaudeville comedian. Check out Ben in action atop an NYC skyscraper in 1933 no wires, nets or camera tricks. Thats entertainment!

Dick Payne
In Australia, both men and woman frequently have to deal with Dick Payne. Particularly if theyre hoping to sell their home quickly.

James Niggemeyer
When Dimebag Darrel of Pantera/Damageplan was shot on stage at a Columbus, Ohio nightclub, Caucasian police officer James Niggemeyer was first on the scene.


Kim ****t & Jonathan Gash
Kim ****t is the author of Straight from the Horses Mouth. Jonathan Gash penned Every Last Cent. Heres to hoping that either one will find themselves a sizable audience sometime soon since itd be supremely cool to see ****t or Gash in the pages of the New York Times. (See more unfortunately named authors here.)

Dr. Reinhardt Adolfo ****
This next guy is a ****. An R. A. **** to be exact. Meet Dr. Reinhardt Adolfo **** famous Brazilian geologist.

Dr. Richard Chopp
Well give you one guess what Dr. Richard Chopp is best known for in the Austin medical community. Yep, Vasectomies. We cant make this stuff up, folks.

Lucious Pusey
If youre a college football quarterback, the last thing you want on the line is a Lucious Pusey since thatd be sack city. Thankfully, this Pusey is now a Seymour.