4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) Dont use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
18) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."
19) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
20) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
21) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
22) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
23) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
24) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
25) Every time you see a broom, yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
i actually had a friend whose aunt worked at the bank in Yale Oklahoma (tee-tiny town), and everytime he'd write a check for cash he'd write "drugs" or "pot" or "hooch" in the memo field because he knew she would tell his parents... most of the time he wasn't lying...
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You should fear anything that can bleed for seven days without dying... (as told to Mr. DS on 3-12-10)
I was waiting for AC and her mom to by the bathrooms right before we went on a cave tour, there was a broom sitting there so when AC came out I told her not to forget her ride.
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Sometimes, when i'm lonely... i crawl into a laundry basket and tickle my ears. But, Some times I don't...