'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

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In a Podiatrist's office:

'Time wounds all heels.'

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On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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At a Proctologist's door:

'To expedite your visit, please back in.'

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On a Plumber's truck:

'We repair what your husband fixed.'

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On another Plumber's truck:

'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'

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On a Church's Bill board:

'7 days without God makes one weak.'

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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

'Invite us to your next blowout.'

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At a Towing company:

'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'

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On an Electrician's truck:

'Let us remove your shorts.'

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In a Nonsmoking Area:

'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

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On a Maternity Room door:

'Push. Push. Push.'

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At an Optometrist's Office:

'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

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On a Taxidermist's window:

'We really know our stuff.'

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On a Fence:

'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

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At a Car Dealership:

'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

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Outside a Muffler Shop:

'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

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At the Electric Company

'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be.'

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In a Restaurant window:

'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

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At a Propane Filling Station:

'Thank heaven for little grills.'

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And don't forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

'Best place in town to take a leak.'

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'