An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. Heres $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 to repair the roof of the church.
Well, since were confiding in each other, said the doctor, I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new X-ray machine for the pediatrics ward at the hospital which cost $20,000.
The lawyer was aghast. Im ashamed of both of you, he exclaimed. I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, I enclosed a check for the full $30,000.
A man had not been feeling well so he went to the doctor. His wife waited for him in out in the truck.
After a full exam, the doctor told the man "I will need to speak with your wife alone". So the man went out and had his wife go in.
When the wife went in, the doctor told her "The bad news is that your husband's in really bad shape. The good news is that you can save him. All you need to do is make sure he has three really great meals a day." She said "I can do that".
The doctor aded: "Make sure you block all stress from his life." She said "I can do that".
Finally the doctor said: "Most importantly, make sure he gets plenty of lovin'. You should have sex with him at least once a day." The wife got up and walked out.
When she got back out to the truck, she climbed in, the man asked her "So, what did the doc say?" The wife looked at him and said "You're gonna die."
