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Freeze-Frame Radio -> Freeze-Frame Radio Lounge -> 25 Things You'd LOVE to say at work!
Post Info TOPIC: 25 Things You'd LOVE to say at work!
JD The Jazz Doctor


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25 Things You'd LOVE to say at work!
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1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a crap.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

16. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

17. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?

18. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

19. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

20. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

21. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

22. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

23. Chaos, panic, and disorder---my work here is done.

24. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

25. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

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CP


Lord of the Lair

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Number 6 is one of my favorites

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Mad Mema


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You mean I'm NOT supposed to say those things?!?!?! DANG!! I even have #6 on a sign at my desk... for reals!

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MM

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
MzHartz


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#23

At my old job, there were 3 of us that would hang out together and cause trouble. We nicknamed ourselves Chaos, Confusion, and Disorder (the sign we saw had "confusion" instead of panic). Arlene prided herself with being OCD (this is the person who won't eat anything orange), so she was Disorder. Miranda thought she fit Confusion best. And they claimed I was the silent leader, so I was Chaos. (I guess I was the one who came up with, and ultimately got in trouble for, organizing Corporate BS Bingo during a companywide meeting.)

Later we added a 4th, Trina, to our gang. She was Despair.

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Mad Mema


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I use #16, #18, #3, #14, and #21 near daily. Has anyone else visited www.despair.com ? I have a large number of the "demotivators" around my desk. I also own the pessimist mug.

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Woo Hoo


The Chosen Woo

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despair.com is awesome!

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JD The Jazz Doctor


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I can't wait to use #25 nod.gif

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"And like Web, I enjoy throwing JR under the bus.  Problem is, it's usually under the special bus that I ride every day". Ghostdancer 12-18-09
MzHartz


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"Disorder" emailed me yesterday that she had used a variation of #3. He boss asked her what time was good for her to have their weekly meeting.

She answered, "November."

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Mad Mema


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I have some other, similar signs that other people have sent me, but I don't know where they came from. They crack me up.

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That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
disco strangler


Smiles everyone, smiles!

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I use, on a regular basis, "I'm sorry, this is the answering service" on the annoying sales people that call in...


I like this one...
3. How about never? Is never good for you?


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Jeremy Riggs


2011 Super Bowl Champions!

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The list SHOULD be 26 things though.

Wouldn't everyones FAVORITE thing to say at work be "I quit!"

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Mad Mema


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Come to think of it, I use #10 a lot too... nature of the job. No wonder they are always telling me I should work on my "soft skills".... which is when I use a version of #13.

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That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I THINK this one all the time.

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Mad Mema


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I could suggest a #27 of "Oh, what the HE!! do you want now?"... mostly because that is my standard greeting to several people.

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Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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It's true. She does. smile.gif

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Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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Most people think she's kidding. She's not.

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Mad Mema


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Very true... giggle.gif

-- Edited by Mad Mema at 14:44, 2008-08-27

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That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Ruby


The Good Witch Of The South

    



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JD The Jazz Doctor wrote:

I can't wait to use #25 nod.gif



 Let me know how that goes!biggrin



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ghostdancer


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JD The Jazz Doctor wrote:

I can't wait to use #25 nod.gif


I memorized that one to use on my idiotic she-boss!!!  clap.gif  biggrin

 



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darleneapd


Cuff 'Em N' Stuff 'Em

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how about:

"Can you pass that bottle of wine over here?"....LOL biggrin.gif

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Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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Ruby wrote:

JD The Jazz Doctor wrote:

I can't wait to use #25 nod.gif



 Let me know how that goes!biggrin





Yeeah. I'm sure it will be a sight to behold. The fireworks will be astounding!

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JD The Jazz Doctor


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oh I heard that the other day. nod.gif

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"And like Web, I enjoy throwing JR under the bus.  Problem is, it's usually under the special bus that I ride every day". Ghostdancer 12-18-09
squonk


RetroMan

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yep, tried a few. Anger management classes followed. It is funny, others at the shop can have a more dangerous or concerning way and yet, they get a promotion. Hmm.furious.gif

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Mad Mema


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I've found that there is a trick to delivering most of those lines... it really helps if you smile after you say it. I don't know why, but people seem to believe you aren't really being serious when you do that.

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MM

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
squonk


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Mad Mema wrote:

I've found that there is a trick to delivering most of those lines... it really helps if you smile after you say it. I don't know why, but people seem to believe you aren't really being serious when you do that.


I prefer they understand EXACTLY what I mean.

I prep work for digital print production. Some of the jobs are considered "kits" (collection of documents combined in to one binder) I will work on/process these documents until almost anybody can do them.
So, there's a person in our finishing dept. putting one together. All day long this person keeps coming to me and asking questions about it. (all day long? the job should take less than an hour!) After about 7 or 8 times, no supervisor was involved, I tell this person "I may as well do the f-ing job myself! With all the time I've spent answering questions and working with you at your desk, I should have just f-ing done it myself!" So, my supervisor turns me in. He was never involved until I started swearing. Never stepped up when this person kept bugging me in my cubical. Mind you, my cube is in a completely different part of the building and this person walked back n forth several times. rrrrrrrrrrrr.



-- Edited by squonk at 07:15, 2008-08-29

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Mad Mema


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You and I are much of the same mind, Squonk. I'm one of those polarizing people in my office... they either love me or they hate me with a white hot passion. There really aren't any fence sitters. Either way, smile or no... I call it like it is and generally I get my way cuz I'm right. There is no actual mistaking what I say for being anything other than what I mean, I just throw in the smile at the end because it keeps it all out of HR and generally gets a few laughs.

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MM

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
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