Because I'm A Man >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with >>>> a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an >>>> option. I will win. >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop >>>> the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If >>>> another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be >>>> able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and >>>> everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a >>>> couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
; _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me >>>> soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. >>>> You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem. >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at >>>> the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic >>>> items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will >>>> insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost >>>> me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it >>>> back together. >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand >>>> while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole >>>> show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a >>>> calculator in stead >>>> (applies to engineers only) >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. >>>> The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I >>>> have to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask. >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. >>&g t;> Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't... and if you >>>> are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least >>>> remember the name and recommend it to others. >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what >>>> you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes >>>> is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make >>>> youre a** look too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas >>>> that did that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share >>>> equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the >>>> cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like >>>> wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do. >>>> _________________________________ >>>> >>>> This has been a public service message for women to better understand >>>> men. >>>>
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Stop trying to be what you see. Be what you ought to be.
