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Ruby

The Good Witch Of The South

Status: Offline

Posts: 19309

Date: Mon Sep 29 10:40 2008

> > The Zen of Sarcasm	Permalink

> > > > > > 01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. > > > > > > 02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. > > > > > > 03. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. > > > > > > 04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. > > > > > > 05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. > > > > > > 06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. > > > > > > 07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. > > > > > > 08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. > > > > > > 09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you. > > > > > > 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day . > > > > > > 11. I f you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment. > > > > > > 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. > > > > > > 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. > > > > > > 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > > > > > 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. > > > > > > 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. > > > > > > 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. > > > > > > 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. > > > > > > 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving . > > > > > > 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. > > > > > > 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. > > > > > > AND > > > > > > > > 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. __________________

MzHartz

Permanent Vacation

Status: Offline

Posts: 23086

Date: Mon Sep 29 11:02 2008

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Those are perfect! __________________

Woo Hoo

The Chosen Woo

Status: Offline

Posts: 21048

Date: Mon Sep 29 11:10 2008

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I love #1 __________________ "Am I speaking in a language you're not getting here?"

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