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Freeze-Frame Radio -> Freeze-Frame Radio Lounge -> Tales From The Checkout: Express Lane Edition
Post Info TOPIC: Tales From The Checkout: Express Lane Edition
Jeremy Riggs


2011 Super Bowl Champions!

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Tales From The Checkout: Express Lane Edition
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I'm convinced in this day and age of reality television that the next best reality should could come from a hidden camera at the check out lanes.  I've certainly come here with enough rants on them, and today I add to that pile.

Dig if you will the picture.  Food store check out line.  three people in line. 

First, a 274 year old woman with 31 items who apparantly feels at her age she no longer needs to honor silly rules like "15 items or less".

Second, a younger woman, bundled up like an eskimo.

Third, me.  The only sane person in America (shuddy!)

Ok, so the 274 year old women lets the clerk bag all her groceries (of course, the slowest clerk in the store is working the express lane) before she announces that she has one of those cloth bags. 

The clerk SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWLY unloads all the stuff from the plastic bags, puts what she can in the cloth bag and returns about 10 items to plastic bags.

The 274 year old woman says "I'm walking, can't you get everything in the cloth bag".  This CLEARLY is not going to happen, but the clerk, bless her heart, tries her best and get's it down to about 7 items in the second bag.

The entire transaction takes just under TEN MINUTES!!!  IN THE EXPRESS LANE!!!

During this time, eskimo woman has turned to me and rolled her eyes.  To which I respond "I know" and shake my head in disgust.

So, 274 year old woman is headed toward the door.  It's eskimo womans big moment, she's up next!

She's got a 2 liter bottle of Sierra Mist and a small carton of milk (the type you got in your school lunch).  Total price.  $1.48

She's holding a credit card and tells the clerk she wants to put FIFTY TWO CENTS ON HER CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!  The clerk responded "FIFTY TWO CENTS?!?  REALLY?!?"

Eskimo woman sheepishly shakes her head and swipes her card.

Then she digs in her purse for the remaining balance of .96.  After about three minutes of digging and coming up with nothing she decides to take off her MITTONS!!!!!! 

THIS IS THE WOMAN WHO FIVE MINUTES AGO ROLLED HER EYES!!!

She finally scrounges the .96 and pays.

I get up, my 13 items are scanned, I pay.  I leave.  MY TRANSACTION TOOK UNDER A MINUTE!!!!!!

Why am I the only one who can get through and express lane in a reasonable amount of time?!?!?!?

Fortunately I remained calm during the entire time because I kept telling myself the 274 year old woman is old, and one day I'll be old.

Then I told myself maybe eskimo girl is unemployed and struggling and actually needed to charge .52 in order to be able to get anything at the store.

Still.  I'm glad I don't carry a gun.  hmm.gif

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Ruby


The Good Witch Of The South

    



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LOL Thanks for the laugh, sorry you are not laughing with me!

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MzHartz


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Maybe Eskimo Girl had a Visa gift card with only $0.52 left on it. I hate those cards because of that. How do you use exactly $0.52?

Another beef of mine at the checkout is that baggers don't understand how to put items in a cloth bag. I make sure they have my bags before the clerk starts checking me out, yet it still takes them forever, and my canned goods are in the insulated bag. The best is when the bagger puts everything in plastic bags first, and then puts the plastic bags into the cloth bag.

Sometimes, I'll actually stand in a longer line so I can get to a clerk that I know is fast. But sometimes Kroger has someone who hovers over the lines and asks you to move if another is shorter.

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Jeremy Riggs


2011 Super Bowl Champions!

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I was thinking about that MZ.  Why not just put the plastic bag into the cloth bag?

But then the woman would have just made her redo it anyway because she wanted both bags to fit in her one magic cloth bag.

Good point about the gift card, that may well have been the case and you're right they're a pain to use.

Although, if I had a .52 gift card balance I wouldn't hold up the express lane to deal with it.

The local food store is so stupidly set up to begin with it's not funny.  They let people buy cigarettes at the express lane, but the cigarettes are in a locked cage all the way at the other end of the store.  So anytime someone buys cigarrettes in the express lane it's a 2 - 3 minute wait while the clerk goes to get them and bring them back.

Then when they get back the customer usually says something like "oh, I wanted the 100's not the regulars" or "Oh I wanted the hard pack not the soft pack"  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH  angered.gif

Why can't express lane MEAN EXPRESS?!?!?!

NO Cigarettes, NO Checks, NO Partial Gift Cards, and if we catch ya with 16 items in the 15 item lane we'll take you out back and shoot you in the head Chinese style!!!!  biggrin.gif

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MzHartz


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Now you sound like JD...

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confuzzed


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The self check lane is nice for just a few items. I can get in, out and handle everything on my own.



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ghostdancer


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I hate those self checkout lanes; never use them.  I feel if I'm spending money in the store, the least they can do is check me out and bag my purchase.  Now if they were giving me a discount if I scan my items and bag my groceries then I might consider using them.  I also don't like the whole idea of self checkouts because to me it's another way for business to eliminate jobs. 

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MzHartz


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I love using the self checkouts. The less I have to deal with people, the better.

Now that I have my own bags, I like bagging my own groceries too. That way I know my ice cream will go in the insulated bag.

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ray925


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I have three Starbucks cards with less than $3.00 total. I'm waiting to pull them out when there are at least 5 people behind me. When I do I'll do it one at a time. Then for good measure I'll have the barista put $5.00 on each card so I can use them again.

Mz when do you go to Starbucks? evileye.gifbiggrin.gifsprint.gif

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MzHartz


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Well, I go at 2 in the morning. Yeah, that's it.

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Jeremy Riggs


2011 Super Bowl Champions!

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Barista. Puh leeeeze. They're a glorified soda jerk. no.gif

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Ultimo


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This isn't at the checkout but the same things happen, as I don't drive I have to get the bus to and from work, now they aren't the most reliable things in the world, in terms of being on time, so you normally have to stand around and wait for 10 or 15 mins sometimes but yet it still amazes me that people don't get the correct change ready in all that time they have been stood waiting doing nothing, no they have to start digging through the vortex that is a handbag to find a purse! and keep the rest of us waiting in the cold.

Really annoys me how many times this happens in a week. furious

that is all... rant over!


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MzHartz


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That's a good point, Ultimo. It's not like the fare changes every day.

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Ultimo


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Even if it did, they could have took the time to get some money out, the buses here give change!

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