1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, Did I wake you?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. Theres nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now wont wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
9. You can live without sex (but not without glasses).
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors dont even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with the elevator music.
16. Your eyes wont get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologist than the National Weather Service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.