If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat raceyoure a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework youre a pansy.

If you work too hardtheres never any time for her. If you dont work enoughyoure a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low paythis is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay..you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her..that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of youits affirmative action.

If you mention how nice she looksits sexual harassment. If you keep quiet.its male indifference.

If you cryyoure a wimp. If you dont..youre an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting heryoure a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting youshes a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesnt enjoy. thats domination. If she asks youits a favor.

If you appreciate the female form ..youre a pervert. If you dont .youre gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs, wear sexy lingerie and keep in shape .youre sexist. If you dont..youre unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shapeyoure vain. If you dont ..youre a slob.

If you buy her flowers.youre after something. If you dont ..youre not thoughtful.

If youre proud of your achievements..youre full of yourself.  If you arent. youre not ambitious.

If she has a headacheshes tired. If you have a headache.you dont love her anymore.

If you want it too oftenyoure over sexed. If you dont.there must be someone else.

So why do men die first?