The Etch A Sketch thread - Freeze-Frame Radio

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

RE: The Etch A Sketch thread

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

MzHartz wrote:
Personally, whenever I say, "With all due respect," I'm usually inferring the next line should be, "go eff yourself." So it sounds like she's trying to pass it off on you because she doesn't have those records.

So your reply of, "No, do your own damn job," fits perfectly.

confuzzed · Permanent State of Confusion

I kind of thought the same thing. I told the boss that I thought she was trying to pass it off on me. That is exactly why I responded the way I did.

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

I got an order that should've gone to my coworker, so I forwarded the email to him without looking at it. He just stopped by my office and said, "Did you look at that purchase order?"

Me: "No. Why?"

Him: "It says, 'Must refer to this purchase order number when invoicing.' Do you know what the number is?"

Me: "One?"

Him: "Nope. Two."

WebGuy · Doesn't Do Windows

confuzzed wrote:
And really, "With all due respect". What hell is that supposed to mean here?

Same here. To me "with all due respect" means "You couldn't be more wrong, but if I say it this way, you will think I'm being polite about it."

WebGuy · Doesn't Do Windows

MzHartz wrote:
I got an order that should've gone to my coworker, so I forwarded the email to him without looking at it. He just stopped by my office and said, "Did you look at that purchase order?"

Me: "No. Why?"

Him: "It says, 'Must refer to this purchase order number when invoicing.' Do you know what the number is?"

Me: "One?"

Him: "Nope. Two."

Can't be too careful. Don't want to get this order confused with the other one.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

WebGuy wrote:
confuzzed wrote:
And really, "With all due respect". What hell is that supposed to mean here?

Same here. To me "with all due respect" means "You couldn't be more wrong, but if I say it this way, you will think I'm being polite about it."

When I use the phrase "with all due respect" in my mind it is followed by "which is actually not much if any" , verbally it is followed by something expressing what Mz said...' go eff yourself'.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

MzHartz wrote:
I got an order that should've gone to my coworker, so I forwarded the email to him without looking at it. He just stopped by my office and said, "Did you look at that purchase order?"

Me: "No. Why?"

Him: "It says, 'Must refer to this purchase order number when invoicing.' Do you know what the number is?"

Me: "One?"

Him: "Nope. Two."

Tricky numbering scheme they got going there.

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

On UPS.com, I clicked the Login button. That's all. I wasn't trying to get to a page that you need to login to see, I was logging in first. I went to lunch, got back, and put in my login information, and got the following message:

"Your current request has timed out due to inactivity. You will need to restart your request."

So, I can't login, because I took too long to login?

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

Such is the way of things. First thing in the morning when I get to work, I log into my computer, then I have to log into a particular interface that allows me to get to most of the other applications I need to do my job as I am a contractor for my customer. As I go about my work, I log into the individual applications as I need them. At some point in the afternoon, the interface times out for "inactivity", but it leaves most of the individual applications up and running for me. All is well until I need something additional, then I have to log back into the interface... which dumps me out of the individual applications, some of which will eventually restart on their own just like they never shut down. Isn't that just kinda dumb?

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

Yeah, I hate it when anything times out for inactivity.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

For some things, I can see the reasoning, but it seems unreasonable to me that the main interface times you out half way through a standard work day. I could see it timing out maybe after 10 or 12 hours, but after 2-4 is just dumb. I really don't get the "you took too long to log in" thing.

WebGuy · Doesn't Do Windows

WebGuy wrote:

I did have another round with my crazy lady customer/Etch. I probably would have dumped her accounts by now, but since I turned off instant messaging (she doesn't have the only one I use now - Skype), she doesn't bother me via email like she did with I.M. Now it's only to deal with her when she's ready to catch up on her bills again.

She sent me an email over a week ago, Saturday saying she was going to call me this past Saturday to put some money on her account. She promised she would then call every Saturday until she got it paid off again. She went on to apologize all over herself again, tried to ask how the family is, pretending like we are best buds, etc.

I didn't reply as I thought she was just trying to get a response out of me, and that she probably wouldn't call next (this past) weekend anyway.

A few hours later I got another email asking if I got the first email.

So I replied very shortly that I did get it, sorry I didn't realize she needed a reply, and that I'd talk to her on Saturday.

She replied again apologizing for not requesting a reply and another promise to call/pay on Saturday.

Surprise! She didn't call.

I've been expecting an email full of excuses why she didn't call like she said she would, but I haven't heard from her yet.

Speaking of bill paying . . .

She didn't call that Saturday that she "promised" she would call.

Two weeks later, (this Saturday) she sent me an email saying she would call Sunday or Monday to make that payment and she asked which day would be best. I replied and told her that Monday would be better when I was in the office.

She didn't call either day.

Usually she says "I want to pay you in a couple days . . . but oh, by the way, I have a question ...." which was always just a ploy to think she was making me feel better about answering her questions.

This time she didn't ask any questions so maybe she actually did intend on making a payment, but after sleeping on it decided not too.

confuzzed · Permanent State of Confusion

It is funny how my etch hadn't come anywhere near me or even walked past me since last week's mess. Someone mentioned to me she saw the etch taking the long way around. That's right, you better not come near me. Yesterday was the first day she actually walked past me to go to the kitchen. Of course any time she did go by someone was with her whether she met them along the way or came out of the kitchen at the same time. I have to ask the boss if he had a talk with her boss and maybe she was told to dimply stay away from me. That is a good plan..

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

confuzzed wrote:
It is funny how my etch hadn't come anywhere near me or even walked past me since last week's mess. Someone mentioned to me she saw the etch taking the long way around. That's right, you better not come near me. Yesterday was the first day she actually walked past me to go to the kitchen. Of course any time she did go by someone was with her whether she met them along the way or came out of the kitchen at the same time. I have to ask the boss if he had a talk with her boss and maybe she was told to dimply stay away from me. That is a good plan..

I call that a good outcome.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

A healthy dose of fear/respect/hatred can be a good thing for a person to have sometimes.

confuzzed · Permanent State of Confusion

For now it is a great outcome. It still doesn't solve the bs that occured without me being able to put my two sense in. The sad thing is, I have told her some things straight to her face. She either tells me she knows or thinks I'm kidding. Oh well, for now I will enjoy the break.

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

TGIFF

I was working on a logo when the Etch came in my office. She gave me some changes to a proof and saw a couple sweaters laying on the desk. She asked, "Ooh, who are these for?"

I pointed to my screen and said, "That's what I'm working on right now."

Obviously not listening, she said, "Who?"

I pointed to my screen again and said, "What I'm working on right now."

"What?"

I put my finger on the screen and said, "That."

She said a bit pissy, "Well aren't you something," and walked out of my office.

She's been claiming that I've been pissy lately. I don't think she's considering the fact that she's pissing me off.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

It is gonna be one of those kinds of weeks:

(Desk phone rings)
Me: This is Michele.
Etch: Uh... Hi, uh... Michele. This is Etch with the (operator service provider name) project . Doug (a.k.a.Little Man) is not answering his phone and he isn't online.
Me: Yes, I know. That is because he is on vacation this week.
Etch: Oh, yes, well, uh... I was told by someone that I could reach out to you as Doug's backup. We are having some problems with the testing and I wanted to know if you could get on the test call RIGHT NOW?
Me: Uh... okay. What type of problems are you having?
Etch: I don't know.
Me: Neither do I. And I don't know what Doug has or has not done for this.
Etch: We are on this test call and (garbled)
Me: Hello?
(garbled)
Me: Hello? Are you there?
(garbled)
Me: Hello?
Etch: I'll try calling you back.
Me: Okay.

(Desk phone rings)
Me: This is Michele.
Etch: Uh... Hi, uh... Michele. This is Etch with the (operator service provider name) project . I just forwarded you the meeting maker for the call.
Me: Okay. I'll be on there in a few minutes.
Etch: Like now?
Me: Like as soon as I hang up, open the e-mail, ascertain the conference bridge info, take a deep breath, and dial in.
Etch: Oh, okay.

(dial into conf bridge and listen to in progress conversation about ordering trunks for this project)
Etch: So, this is Etch. I'm back. Michele will be joining for Doug.
Michele: This is Michele. I've identified the source of your testing issue: Your testing will continue to fail until you actually order the trunks to support this project, and have them built. You can't test something that does not exist.
Guy on the call: Uh... that makes sense. That is what we are trying to do, but we don't know how to order the trunks. Can you help us?
Michele: I can tell you that you need to get the trunks ordered. Doug and I are not the group that orders the trunks. We build them.
Guy: Oh.

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

Replace "testing" with "butt coldness," and "trunks" with "pants."

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

That would have made it a better conversation.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

Sometimes I wish it would be okay to just copy in a whole e-mail chain with names and everything. Dude I have been dealing with for the last little while would be perfect for this. I'm not sure if he is a maroon or just not reading my emails.

confuzzed · Permanent State of Confusion

I dare you to ask him.

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

confuzzed wrote:
I dare you to ask him.

biggrin

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

I'm fairly certain he is not bothering to read my responses. He just sends back something to the effect of "so I don't really know, but do something for me. Let me know if there is anything I need to do."

Cept in all of my responses to him, I am saying, "I need for you to tell me exactly what you are looking for. If 'xxxxxx', then I need for you to provide me 'yyyy' and 'zzzz'. If it is 'aaaa', then I need you to 'bbbb'. If it is 'hhhhhh', then that is all you... has nothing to do with me."

We rolled through that vicious loop so many times, others who were copied on the e-mail are IM-ing me things like "Dude seems to be herping his derp."

confuzzed · Permanent State of Confusion

Mad Mema wrote:
Let me know if there is anything I need to do.

Your job.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

Yeah, I tried that. No response since yesterday. Either he gave up or he is trying to get me removed from the Sprint contract.

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

"I need help with Word."

Okay, I'll be right down. [went to her office]

"I'm trying to move this text over, but it won't move."

It looks like it's aligned right instead of left.

"Aligned right?"

Here, just click at the end of the sentence.

No, at the end of the sentence.

Yes, there, now hit Space.

{Presses Enter.}

No, you need Space. Undo that.

{Presses Delete. It moves it.}

Word doesn't like that, click Undo.

{Presses Delete.}

Click Undo. Yes, now Undo again. One more time.

Okay, now press Space.

{Presses Enter.}

You need Space, not Enter.

{Presses Delete.}

Click Undo. Now click Undo again. Now press Space.

{Reaches for Enter key.}

Not Enter, Space.

"Where's Space?"

[I reach over and press her Space bar for her. I do not stab her with a sharpie. I deserve an award.]

confuzzed · Permanent State of Confusion

You absolutely deserve a piece of chocolate and an adult beverage.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

Reminds me of several conversations with a former co-worker whom we nicknamed "Buckethead"... both because he was stoopid and because his head was actually sort of bucket-esque in shape. One in specific:

Buckethead: This guy wants me to do something he is calling an auth code test. That is something you would do, right?
Me: Not necessarily, you can do it. The instructions are in your Big Book under the tab conveniently called "AUTHTEST/DINATEST/ACCT TEST/TCN TEST"
Buckethead: Uh... I don't know where that is.
Me: Again, it is in the big, white, three ringed binder you were provided that is called "The Big Book of Domestic Translations"
Buckethead: I don't have that.
Me: Yes, you do. I gave you one when you started here.
Buckethead: I threw it away because I didn't need it.
Me: It is an omnibus of instructions for how to do your job. Clearly, you do need it. (I get another copy and give it to him) Don't throw it away.
Buckethead: I still don't know how to do this.
Me: (open the book to the appropriate place and point to the appropriate instruction on the page) You type this into the switch, but where it says 9876543 you put in your auth code, and where it says 02, you put in your appropriate ADIN.
Buckethead: Uh?
Me: This line right here (pointing). The one that says AUTHTEST 9876543 02. Type it just like that, but with the auth code and adin you want to test, then hit 'enter"
Buckethead: (begins typing) TABLE AUTHTEST
Me: Stop. Does it say "table" anywhere in the line you see there?
Buckethead: No.
Me: Type it just like it says.
Buckethead: (begins typing) TABLE AUTHTEST
Me: Stop. Does it say "table" anywhere in the line you see there?
Buckethead: No.
Me: Then why are you typing "table"? This is a query utility, not a switch table entry. Type it just like it says right there in front of you.
Buckethead: (begins typing) TABLE AUTHTEST
Me: Stop. Again, do you see "table" in that line of typing in the book right there?
Buckethead: No.
Me: Then why are you typing "table"? Start with the "A" and type AUTHTEST then hit the space bar, then type in your auth code, then space again, then your adin, then hit enter.
Buckethead: That won't work.
Me: Why do you think that?
Buckethead: Because it doesn't say table.
Me: It is a query command, you are not getting into a table. You are trying to query an offboard database. Just type the command like you see it there, starting with the 'A".
Buckethead: It wont' work. I think you should do it.
Me: (walking away) No. Struggle it out. I can't help you if you won't read and listen.

I hear someone else over at his desk minutes later saying "Uh... don't type table there. This is a query command...."