AP - Man caught at airport with 44 lizards in pants
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A German man who stuffed 44 small lizards into his underwear before trying to board a flight has been sentenced to prison in New Zealand for plundering the country's protected species.
Hans Kurt Kubus, 58, will spend 14 weeks behind bars and must pay a 5,000 New Zealand dollar ($3,540) fine before being deported to Germany as soon as he is released, District Court Judge Colin Doherty ruled onTuesday.
Kubus was caught by wildlife officials at Christchurch International Airport on South Island in December, about to board an overseas flight with 44 geckos and skinks in a hand-sewn package concealed in his underwear.
He admitted trading in exploited species without a permit and hunting absolutely protected wildlife without authority, pleading guilty to two charges under the Wildlife Act and five under the Trade in Endangered Species Act.
Department of Conservation prosecutor Mike Bodie told the court Kubus could have faced potential maximum penalties of NZ$500,000 ($355,000) and six months in prison.
Bodie said the department sought a deterrent sentence for "the most serious case of its kind detected in New Zealand for a decade or more."
The geckos may have been worth 2,000 euros ($2,800) each on the European market, he noted.
Customs records showed that Kubus had also been to New Zealand in 2001, 2004, 2008, and 2009. In 2008, he had been with a Swiss reptile dealer.
Doherty said Kubus had come to New Zealand and set about poaching the animals in a premeditated way which would have had an impact on particular colonies.
There was potential for Kubus to end up with far more animals than he could have housed in his own collection and the rest would have been sold.
"I don't think you necessarily came here to steal to sell, but I am sure the fact that you might have had excess was figured into your thinking," Doherty told Kubus.
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MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
LOL, "skinks in my skivvies" sounds like a euphemism for something. I don't know what, but it sounds like it needs a, "if you know what I mean," tacked onto the end of it.
If someone said that to me, I would suggest they go get some antibiotics or perhaps a nice antifungal cream.
Just makes me wonder what would prompt a person to think it is a good idea to try to spend hours on a plane with a crotch full of lizards? Even if you got away with it, for the rest of your life you would have to be burdened with the knowledge that you actually did that. EEEEEWWWWW. Let alone of anyone you know actually found out about it. Imagine having to go the rest of your life with your friends calling you "Skinky" or telling your girlfriend they hope she checked you out for geckos in your gear cuz DANG!
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MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Guy's Wife: "Have you been cheating on me?" Guy: "What? No. Where would you ever get that idea?" Guy's Wife: "Would you like to explain to me why there is a bite mark on your (insert your favorite word for a guy's private parts here)?
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Stop trying to be what you see. Be what you ought to be.
Can you imagine having to call someone to explain your plight once you've been caught?
(Ring, ring) " Hello?"
"Moooo-ooom, I got a prooooooblme." "What's wrong, son?" "Well, its not like it sounds... but I got stopped in customs cuz I had 44 mutter mutter mutter." "You had 44 what?" "I had 44 lizards in my pants." "Oh. I was afraid that is what you said. So just out of curiosity son, why did you put 44 lizards in your pants? Is this a fetish of some sort? Do we need to find you a therapist?" "Bail money and a lawyer is what I need?"
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MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
If someone said that to me, I would suggest they go get some antibiotics or perhaps a nice antifungal cream. 
