A topic I think about often - you've maybe heard the saying "I'd rather be alone than lonely" speaking of singledom versus miserably married. But it seems the majority still believe a person should end up with a significant other of some sort. So I wonder, is there such a thing as a happy, contented single person with no drive for marriage or do you think it's a ruse for an unwillingness to settle or a fruitless search for perfection? Or worse, such a horrible childhood that relationships are purely dyfunctional and better left undeveloped.
I'm bringing this up here because I know there are a few here (me included) who are of the long-term single set (in my case divorced 6 years) and I often hang out on a board called quirkyalone.net which suggests these people are a concrete subset of the population. But they're often criticized for it, since it's not the norm. Whatcha think?
I never thought I'd get married. I thought getting married would require me to become someone that I'm not. I'm a very independent person, and I never wanted to have to rely on anyone for anything, or be restricted to what I am or am not allowed to do. But I got lucky, I met my husband, and he gives me the freedom to be who I want to be. But marriage isn't right for everyone, and if you don't feel it, you shouldn't force it.
I have a very good friend that has been divorced for years. She is older than I am, I never asked her age, but I believe she is in late 50's to early 60's. she has been alone for years. We spoke about it and she is very content with her life as it is.
I think I can understand, because there are sure times when I am home alone and it is bliss.
I did not get married until I was 29 and left home at 18. I always lived alone. Tried roommates my first couple of years at 19-but by 21 never again. My home has always been my sanctuary and the quieter the better. Don't get me wrong, love my wife and kids--but----enjoy my moments of silence and ffr. That is probably why I spend so much time on the golf course.
My mother has been divorced from my father for about 10 years now and lives alone in Wisconsin. She has no desire to share a house or bed again and said she loves her life. I think I know my mom pretty well and believe her.
Probably not a good parallel but alone does not mean lonely.
There is nothing wrong with being single! There is always something you can be doing to keep life meaningful and rich, it does not have to be tied to another person. In fact, I think that you should be happy with your life as it is before you consider joining with someone in marriage. Your 100% will be 50% of the new partnership. My wife and I knew that marriage would be a good thing when we could just be honest and say, "I don't need to be with you, but I want to be with you. And I'm willing to work to make it work." Granted, after 14 years she is like one of my major organs and I don't even want to think about not having her around, but life by no means comes to a grinding halt if your single.
