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JD The Jazz Doctor


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Guy and Girl Prayers
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forwarded to me this morning....


FEMALE  PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,  I pray for a man, who's not a creep.    One who's handsome, smart and strong,  One who loves to listen long.   One who thinks before he speaks,  One who'll call, not wait for weeks.   I pray that he's gainfully  Employed,  When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.   Pulls out my chair and opens my door,  Massages my back and begs to do more.   Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,  Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"   I pray that this man will love me to no end,  And always be my very best friend.

Amen.

*****************************************

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs  who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.   This doesn't rhyme, and I don't care.

Amen



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MzHartz


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How to Please a Woman
Follow this advice if you wish to impress your girlfriend.
· Compliment her;
· respect her;
· honor her;
· cuddle her;
· caress her;
· love her;
· kiss her;
· stroke her;
· buy things for her;
· tease her;
· comfort her;
· protect her;
· hug her;
· hold her;
· spend money on her;
· wine and dine her;
· listen to her;
· care for her;
· stand by her;
· support her;
· hold her.



How to Please a Man
Follow this advice if you wish to impress your boyfriends.
· Show up naked;
· Bring beer.



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star


The Goddess Of Gab

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Man are from Mars and Women are from Venus - Amen!

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thumperglh


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All I had to do was turn on the charm and the women were falling at my feet.


( it was either that or the garlic I had for lunch.)



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JD The Jazz Doctor


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dang....yea.....Hartz is right!

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"And like Web, I enjoy throwing JR under the bus.  Problem is, it's usually under the special bus that I ride every day". Ghostdancer 12-18-09
WebGuy


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That's a good one JD. I've already sent it on to a few friends.

I like Mz's too. Personally, though you could knock the "how to please a man" list down by 50% and I'd still be pleased.




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WebGuy


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I can't find it now or I'd post it but I'll describe it anyway. It is really funny. It was a real photograph of to pieces of electronic gear.

One is a box with many many buttons, knobs, switches, guages, dials, etc. The label on the box says: "Woman"

The other is a box labeled: "Man". It has one switch, with an indicator light. The single switch is labeled "on" and "off".





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MzHartz


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WebGuy


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Thanks Mz, That's the one I was talking about!

Good job!



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