How exciting! Someone mailed me the details so I thought I would share it with you all:
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive another "Economic Stimulus" payment. This is indeed an exciting program, and I will explain it using the Q & A format.
Q - What is an "Economic Stimulus Payment"?
A - It is money that the Federal Government will send to the taxpayers.
Q - Where will the government get the money?
A - From the taxpayers.
Q - So the government is giving me back my own money?
A - Only a smidgen of it.
Q - What is the purpose of this payment?
A - The plan is for you to use the money to buy a high definition TV set, thereby stimulating the economy.
Q - But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A - Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to help stimulate the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
*If you spend the money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
*If you spend the money on gasoline, the money will go to the Middle East or South America.
*If you purchase a computer, the money will go to India, Taiwan, or China.
*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, the money will go to Mexico, Honduras, or Guatemala.
*If you buy an efficient car, the money will go to Japan or Korea.
*If you pay your credit cards or buy stock, the money will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) spend it on prostitutes, or
4) beer, or
5) tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)
Conclusion:
Go to a baseball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could help.
__________________
MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
