I've seen a lot of dumb warning labels, but I included some below that are just plain bizarre. I swear some of them really should say, "Look what some idiot tried to sue us for!"
Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex Do not spray in eyes.
Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter Safe to use around pets.
Bowl Fresh Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Endust Duster This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.
Hair Coloring Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Earplugs These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Fix-a-Flat WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.
RCA Television Remote Control Not Dishwasher Safe
Triops Fish Food Warning: Not for human consumption
Home Depot Treated Lumber Do not consume
Road Sign Cemetery Road. Dead End
Church Parking Lot Sign Thou shalt not park
Air Conditioner Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children
Blanket from taiwan: not to be used as protection from a tornado
Cardboard windshield sun shade: Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.
Infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.
Disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.
Bottle of shampoo for dogs Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
Curling Iron Warning: This product can burn eyes.
A toilet at a public sports facility Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.
Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Container of Underarm Deodorant. Caution: Do not spray in eyes.
Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter. Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.
Toner cartridge for a laser printer Do not eat toner.
Can of self-defense pepper spray. May irritate eyes.
Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock" Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.
A frisbee Warning: May contain small parts.
A toilet bowl cleaning brush. Do not use orally.
A birthday card for a 1 year old. Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Microwave Oven: Do not use for drying pets.
Electric Cattle Prod For use on animals only.
Can of air freshener. For use by trained personnel only.
Silly Putty Do not use as ear plugs.
Portable stroller Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
Sign at a railroad station Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Package of dice. Not for human consumption.
Shipment of hammers May be harmful if swallowed.
Manual for an SGI computer. Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.
Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
6x10 inch inflatable picture frame Not to be used as a personal flotation device.
Box of bottle rockets Do not put in mouth.
Instructions for a cordless phone: Do not put lit candles on phone.
Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building Take care: new non-slip surface.
Toilet brush Do not use for personal hygiene.
Black rubber fishing worm Not for human consumption.
Furniture Wipes Do not use for a baby wipe.
Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.
Bottle of bathtub cleaner For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
Container of lighter fluid WARNING: Contents flammable!
Box of household nails CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
When I was a technical writer, you would not believe the legalese behind the warnings. Thank you OSHA! OSHA is here to protect idiots from themselves, nay, to protect other people from idiots.
You've got enginer speak in memos to deal with their perceived concerns. Then you get the legal department involved to check out liabilities and standards. Then you get OSHA standards involved and you get an 808 page "memo" to read and extract the meaningful information from and interpret for end-users of the product.
808 pages to basically get to three warnings!
1. Do not stick this computer in your ear. It will not fit and might cause serious injury or death.
2. Do not bite the computer keyboard. You may be electrocuted and can choke on small pieces.
3. Please set the computer monitor upright on a flat surface. Failure to do so may result in serious neck injury from straining to read the words in the instance of the monitor not being upright. Serious toe injury may occur of the monitor is not placed on a flat surface, because it may fall on your toes, due to gravity. (See cross-reference for an explanation of gravity).
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"And like Web, I enjoy throwing JR under the bus. Problem is, it's usually under the special bus that I ride every day". Ghostdancer 12-18-09
But some of these even go beyond common sense. Like when in the world are you going to us a toilet plunger near power lines? Or use hair coloring as an ice cream topping? Why would you fed dog shampoo to fish?
And CP, I think that was for olestra or something like that.
