Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Freeze-Frame Radio -> Freeze-Frame Radio Lounge -> Dilbert Managers
Post Info TOPIC: Dilbert Managers
JD The Jazz Doctor


Grand Poobah

    



Status: Offline
Posts: 36897
Date:
Dilbert Managers
Permalink  

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for
people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-type
managers. These were voted the top ten quotes from the managers we 
work for   in corporate America, circa 2004:

 "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using
individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and
employees will receive their cards in two weeks."  (This was the winning
quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)

 "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
encounter."  (Lykes Lines Shipping)

 "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used
only for company business."  (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

 "This project is so important we can't let things that are more important
interfere with it."  (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

 "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager,
Delco Corporation)

 "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working
on it for months.  Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know
when it's time to tell them."  (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and
Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

 Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

 My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told
my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on
the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to
Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."  (Shipping executive, FTD
Florists)

 "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to
discuss it with the employees."   (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines
Division)

__________________
"And like Web, I enjoy throwing JR under the bus.  Problem is, it's usually under the special bus that I ride every day". Ghostdancer 12-18-09
disco strangler


Smiles everyone, smiles!

Status: Offline
Posts: 8321
Date:
Permalink  

this is why we give our brown man (ups) crap...  it makes him rather angry when he sees a fed-ex package waiting to be picked up!


"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important
interfere with it."  (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service


 


 yay!  more time to play on ffr!


"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working
on it for months.  Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know
when it's time to tell them."  (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and
Manufacturing/3M Corp.)


 


this must really be me at home with the boy


Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)


 


 



__________________
You should fear anything that can bleed for seven days without dying...  (as told to Mr. DS on 3-12-10)
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Freeze-Frame Radio -> Freeze-Frame Radio Lounge -> Dilbert Managers
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard