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Post Info TOPIC: Penguin jokes
Ruby


The Good Witch Of The South

    



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Penguin jokes
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Q: How do Penguins drink their cola?
A: On the rocks.
 

Q: Whatīs black and white and goes round and around?
A: A Penguin in a revolving door.
 

Q: Why donīt you see Penguins in Britain?
A: Because theyīre afraid of Wales.
 

Q: Who is a Penguinīs favourite pop star?
A: Seal.
 

Q: What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
A: Starfish.
 

Q: Why donīt Penguins like rock music?
A: They only like sole.

 
Q: Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
A: Because they havenīt got any pockets.
 

Q: What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow.
 

Q: What do mother Penguins say to their children
before they go out in the dark?
A: Beak....careful out there.
 

Q: Why do two Penguins in a nest always agree?
A: Because they donīt wanna fall out.
 

Q: What do Penguins have for lunch?
A: Icebergers.

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost.

 
           A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this
                    the clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks
                    the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

                    The man in the car says, "I found them. I asked myself what to do with
                    them but, I haven't a clue."

                    The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

                    "Yeah, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

                    The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The
                    clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

                    "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!"

                    "Oh, I did," says the driver, "and we had a great time. Today I'm taking
                    them to the beach."

 

Whatīs black & white, black & white, black & white and black & white?

A penguin rolling down the hill.



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Ruby


The Good Witch Of The South

    



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Date:
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The Seven Dwarfs are on a vacation in Europe and receive an audience with the Pope.
As the oldest, Dopey serves as spokesman for his mates.
Standing before the Pope, Dopey asks, "Your excellency, are there any dwarf
nuns in Vatican City?"
The Pope thinks for a moment and says, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns
in Vatican City."
This makes the other six dwarfs snicker.

Dopey then asks, "Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Europe?"
"No," the Pope responds. "There are no dwarf nuns in Europe."
Hearing this, the other six dwarfs fall to the floor, laughing and howling.

Dopey looks at the Pope and says, "Sir, are there any dwarf nuns in the
world?"
"No, my son," the Pope says. "There are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the
world."
With this, the other six dwarfs began chanting, "Dopey made love to a
penguin! Dopey made love to a penguin!"

(Contributed by Steve Lawrence, thanks!)

 

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he
notices that the oil-pressure light is on.  He gets out to
look and sees oil dripping out of the motor.  He drives to
the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.  After
dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around
town.

He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in
Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the
spot.  He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down
to eat.  Having no hands, he makes real mess trying to eat
with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he
goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's
found the problem.  The mechanic looks up and says, "It
looks like youīve blown a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."



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thumperglh


Thumptastic: Chef of the Stars

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The best thing this side of a stove
Jeremy Riggs


2011 Super Bowl Champions!

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Hey Thumper.

I know you've had a rough week, and the last thing I want to do is add to your problems.

But I'm a little upset with you.

You KNOW I prefer to keep my identity hidden. You KNOW I fancy myself as just a disembodied voice on the radio.

So I'm more than a little angry that you're using my photo for your avatar!

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allycat


Cat Scratch Diva

    



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wow, I heard you were hot, but wow

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