Unfortunately my dreams are never as exciting as Darlenes and some other peoples apparantly are, but they sure are bizarre.

It starts out late, late at night and I'm returning a box of clearly used bath towels to a Wal-Mart. Only a security guard is working, but apparantly he handles returns. So he takes the box in back to get me my money, but comes back with the box and says he can't do a return because bath towels have a 30 day return policy and these appear to be several years old

So I throw the box out and walk outside the store, which is actually indoors at a mouselium (sic?) I'm noticing how badly maintained most of the crypts are when Raymond (Ray Romano) comes up to me and says "Hey, come on, I got something you'll want to see" and leads me up this insanely long, winding staircase. It has to be 10,000 steps that do about 50 circles. The really weird part is we're able to almost slide UP these stairs, and the whole time I'm thinking "Gee, I hope there's an elevator to get back down because climbing all these stairs would be brutal"

We get to the door at the top and there's a puppet show going on. So I go in and start watching this puppet show. When it's over I realize it is in the control tower of an airport.

So I leave and the only way out is to walk on freeway like ramps, as I'm walking I see a plane coming in that has it's entire nosecone missing and I'm thinking it's never going to be able to land like that, there's sure to be a crash. As it passes by I see it says REVLON on the side of it and my first thought is "I GOTTA CALL SPARKY AND TELL HIM TO SELL ALL MY REVLON STOCK". I am actually imaging the stock plummetting by 50% or so because of the bad news of a crash, but then I also think that if they somehow land the plane successfully they could be heroes and maybe the stock would rise!

As I continue walking I stop at a little deli. And I order a sandwich. The girl behind the counter is putting it together, and I'm giving her a hard time (just in fun) because she's cutting little squares out of the middle of the cheese slices before she put em on the sandwich. She explains that's the way they do it so the slices of cheese melt together when they toast it, but at the end of the counter is Peter Boyle (apparantly Everybody Loves Raymond was on my mind) and he is the owner of the deli.

He gets all angry at me for complaining about the way they make their sandwiches before he grabs his chest and falls to the ground from a heart attack.

His wife drags him into the backroom, I'm feeling guilty I just killed the guy, so after I get my sandwich I go back there and he's still laying on the ground clutching his chest. I keep telling him how sorry I am when he starts laughing and gets up, he was only joking. His wife tells me he does that at least once a day to a customer.

That's it.

STUPID I KNOW!

But I almost wanted to post it just so it was documented. I know by noon the details would have been gone from my mind if I didn't type it out immediately.