Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Some funny personal ads


The Good Witch Of The South

    



Status: Offline
Posts: 19309
Date:
Some funny personal ads


Reminds me of Must Love Dogs- saw that yesterday, it was cute!

A collection of witty and eccentric lonely hearts ads from the London Review of Books have been brought together for a new book.

David Rose, the review's advertising director who launched the personal ads in 1998, is behind They Call Me Naughty Lola.

It features some of the most brilliant and often absurd ads from what's been billed as the world's funniest - and most erudite - lonely-hearts column.

Here's a selection of the funniest, beginning with the one which inspired the book's title:

'I've divorced better men than you'
'They call me naughty Lola. Run-of-the-mill beardy physicist (M, 46).'

'I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34.'

'List your ten favourite albums... I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up. Practical, forward thinking man, 35.'

'Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds.'

'I like my women the way I like my kebab. Found by surprise after a drunken night out and covered in too much tahini. Before long I'll have discarded you on the pavement of life, but until then you're the perfect complement to a perfect evening. Man, 32, rarely produces winning metaphors.'

'Romance is dead. So is my mother'
'My ideal woman is a man. Sorry, mother.'

'Your buying me dinner doesn't mean I'll have sex with you. I probably will have sex with you, though. Honesty not an issue with opportunistic male, 38.'

'Not everyone appearing in this column is a deranged cross-dressing sociopath. Let me know if you find one and I'll strangle him with my bra. Man, 56.'

'Are you Kate Bush? Write to obsessive man, 36. Note, people who aren't Kate Bush need not respond.'

'Stroganoff. Boysenberry. Frangipani. Words with their origins in people's names. If your name has produced its own entry in the OED then I'll make love to you. If it hasn't, I probably will anyway, but I'll only want you for your body. Man of too few distractions, 32.'

'Ploughing the loneliest furrow. Nineteen personal ads and counting. Only one reply. It was my mother telling me not to forget the bread on my way home from B&Q. Man, 51.'

'Mature gentleman, 62, aged well, noble grey looks, fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society seeks...damn it, I have to pee again.'

'Slut in the kitchen, chef in the bedroom. Woman with mixed priorities, 37, seeks man who can toss a good salad.'

'Bald, short, fat and ugly male, 53, seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite.'

'Romance is dead. So is my mother. Man, 42, inherited wealth.' - Ananova.com

__________________
This_egg_hatches_on_04/05/06!_Adopt_one_today_from_pickle-green.com/egraphics!


Grand Poobah

    



Status: Offline
Posts: 36897
Date:

man I hate to think my window of good oppourtunity has passed, and I'm not really looking anyhow, but yea holy cow. those of you who are married, its a freakshow out here. 

-- Edited by JD The Jazz Doctor at 20:53, 2006-10-30

__________________
"And like Web, I enjoy throwing JR under the bus.  Problem is, it's usually under the special bus that I ride every day". Ghostdancer 12-18-09


The Good Witch Of The South

    



Status: Offline
Posts: 19309
Date:

I watched Must Like Dogs this weekend and felt glad to be married. I think it would suck to date today at my age. But in the movie, she reminded me of why I am miserable- she said that she was not happy, but that was the life she chose and she should make the most of it! But then he left her! Guess no one is ever truly happy are they???

__________________
This_egg_hatches_on_04/05/06!_Adopt_one_today_from_pickle-green.com/egraphics!


Grand Poobah

    



Status: Offline
Posts: 36897
Date:

trust me I don't feel this way, but I think it was chris rock who said:


"when you are single, you want to kill yourself. when you are married, you want to kill your spouse......" lol



__________________
"And like Web, I enjoy throwing JR under the bus.  Problem is, it's usually under the special bus that I ride every day". Ghostdancer 12-18-09
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard