I have to share this story because it's just too dang funny:
My older son, Jeremy, called me Thursday evening as I was getting ready to leave work. Sounding really distressed, he informs me that he has a problem. I more or less suspected that he was stuck someplace as he'd been up to the shop earlier in the day getting some work done on his truck, but it has a fairly serious transmission problem that has yet to be addressed. It takes about an hour and a half to drive from here to his house in southern Missouri, so it would not surprise me to hear he was stranded somewhere. Not the case. Here's what he told me...
"So, I'm driving home, right? The noise in the transmission is getting really bad and I'm worried if I'm going to make it. Well, this squirrel runs out in front of me. I don't want to hit it, so I brake and try to swerve but I ended up hitting it anyway. I felt really bad about that, so I got out of the truck to see if it was dead. It didn't look messed up, but it was out cold. Since it was still breathing, I thought I'd put it in a box and take it over to Grandma to see if she would have any idea what we could to to help it."
Now, at this point, I should explain that Jeremy's maternal grandmother is a really sweet lady who has lived in southern Missouri all her life. She grew up on a share-cropper farm and has lead a fairly country type life. (Think Beverly Hillbillies without the money and the nice house.) She's had all forms of woodland creatures and other odd animals for pets. When I met her, no kidding... she had a pet raccoon.
He goes on to explain, " Well, Grandma looked at it and said she didn't know what to do. She told me I should take it on home and wait to see if it wakes up or something. Walker and I got back in the truck and headed out. Well, along the way home, the squirrel woke up, jumped out of the box, and attacked me for no good reason! Squirrels is mean!! It scared Walker and me really bad. I put the truck in a ditch, but managed to get it back out and finally got us home. We are okay. Neither of us got hurt, but now I have a problem and I don't know what to do: I can't get the squirrel out of my truck. It's hiding under the driver's seat."
Yep, there's me standing in my office listening to this story and trying not to just scream with laughter. My son is 30 yrs old, about 6'1", weighs somewhere over 300 lbs, has several large tattoos, spent his share of time in and out of jail for a variety of minor offenses, worked concrete since the age of 14... and he's totally rattled by a squirrel.
There was just not much to say, but to choke back the laughter and say, "Baby boy, did you by any chance leave the truck door open?" "Ummm.. no... but the window is down." "Well, probably your best move is to go open the door of the truck very carefully... like keep the door between you and the truck... and then just walk away. Leave it open for a while and I bet the squirrel will come out on it's own. Can't blame it for being sorta pist and confused when it woke up... it was just hit by a truck. That kind of thing is bound to make anyone a little mean. Inside a box in a moving vehicle is not the normal habitat for most squirrels. So... probably open the door and let nature happen. While you are doing that, you might want to consider the possibility that you might be a redneck."
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MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Nice to know he's so concerned about a squirrel too! I hit one many years ago just as I was starting my four hour trip back home from camping. It wasn't as lucky as this squirrel, it flopped around a bit and died (yes, I stopped as well to see if I could help him). The entire trip all I could think about was that darn squirrel and how he was just out minding his own business when I ran him over
Definately not a shock that the squirrel was a bit agitated when he came too
I didn't so much tell him I shared it. I suspect he knows I've told a few people cuz it's just too funny. I even considered sending it to Jeff Foxworthy, but I don't think it could honestly compete with they guy who got his nipple bitten off my a beaver.
__________________
MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
I just got the latest on the squirrel. Her name is now Sandy Cheeks. She is living in a cage at Jeremy's house. She has 2 broken legs, but she has started eating again. He's feeding her acorns. Apparently, she even allow him to pet her.
Yep... it's official... he's a redneck. He now has a woodland creature for a pet.
__________________
MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
oh man that is classic!
