A friend just shared this, and for the easy-going with a mischievious sense of humor, I thought I'd share...

M y tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  H eard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

L ooking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

C ongratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

   ! ;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

H ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I 've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

   //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

  ####################################################

C ongratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

H appy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

W hen we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

   //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I 'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

=====================================================

C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Y our friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

S o your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.