The forum - Freeze-Frame Radio

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

RE: The forum

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

Thank you Web, for getting us back on track.

A fresh start would be great, but I don't think there's a way to truly have a fresh start. If we all left this forum dormant and went to a new one, Web's right, our family wouldn't grow. All of our past history would still be there, and things really wouldn't change at all. We'd grow stagnant, and either be at each other's throats or we'd all stop posting.

Thanks for the nomination Web, I'm flattered, but unsure if I accept it yet. The major problem is that we're all drawn here for the station. Taking the station away from the forum is like cutting off an arm. We all have different interests, some we share with other members, but the only one we all share is the station. It's the connection between the two that we've lost.

I do feel abandoned. As much as I'd prefer to have things back to normal, if JR and JD decide to leave the forum, I respect their decisions. But we've also had the station taken away from us. The dissociation between the station and the forum is what bothers me the most.

So here's what I suggest: I suggest we keep this forum, and if JR is willing, continue to have it linked from the FFR station home page. I suggest that someone other than JR or JD manage the forum. In this scenario, I'd be willing to take that position if that's what everyone would want, but if there's anyone else who feels they are capable and are interested in it, please speak up. So really, it'd be more of the FFR fan club than the station's forum. I suggest making the forum a business affiliation with the station like a fan club would be to a celebrity, movie, or show.

Thoughts?

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

And Web, if I did moderate the forum, would you still help me with any technical aspects if I needed it?

Woo Hoo · The Chosen Woo

Ok I think Web was just trying to bring things to the table. Not his intention to look as if he were taking sides. I myself have not talked to any of the parties involved yet since this went down so I know squat about facts! As much as it would be nice to have closure, it is not that important. If they chose to talk to me about what happened that is up to them. I am not going to take sides. And hope no one thinks that I would. Yes I worry about what you think because you are my friends. But know that if you are taking sides, don't expect me to and don't try to swing me one way or the other. I don't want any more drama except what is on the tv.

As far as the forum, I agree with Web and we need to decide what we want to do.

Do we want to stay together? From many of the posts I think the majority of us does.

But here is what I am struggling with: Yes we have a lot of good memories here but I am not sure that I feel comfortable anymore. That is nothing personal towards anyone. Just it kinda doesn't feel right at the moment. This is associated with FFR, JR and JD. Who are not here or won't be here very soon. That is also not to say that the association was bad. It had a great and wonderful run and I would gladly go back.
So I guess I am leaning to a fresh start with a new forum. The majority of the forum members care about the friendships and not the posts. Yes we celebrate the posts but that it is only because it is a fun thing to do. But I have no idea how we would get new members. But if JR does indeed shut down FFR, what is the point of staying?
If we decide to set up a new forum I believe that there needs to be a team that oversees the forum. Not just put on one person's shoulders.

Well there is my 2cents. I'm not sure if I made sense but I tried. I am not opposed to anyone's ideas though.

-- Edited by Woo Hoo at 12:45, 2007-07-31

ghostdancer · Ghost In The Machine

I agree with everything Web has said. It would be difficult to start a new forum and draw in new members....many forums end up shutting down because of lack of new members. And I also believe without the radio station we may end up in the same boat regardless. I personally have no preference as to whom controls the forum as long as that person wants to do it, has the time for it, and is capable of handling all the "behind the scenes" stuff.

I believe whatever has happened to be a private matter between the parties involved, and I for one, do not wish to become involved in it. Yes, I will miss JR....he was the person who found me through myspace and introduced me to all of you, and for that, I'm grateful to him and consider him to be my friend. As his friend, I respect the decisions he makes for himself.......each of us is responsible for choosing what is in our own best interest then following through with that choice. Life is about choices, and sometimes those choices are painful to ourselves as well as to others.  We need to remember that gossip only adds fuel to the fire. In my opinion, gossip has never been useful information......all it usually does is hurt those we say we care about and it hurts ourselves.

With that said, I will continue to be a member of the forum as long as the forum remains. If it doesn't, I would join all of you where ever you decide to set up shop.

Web, thank you very much for posting this. You have brought up many points that we each need to consider if we are to continue.

garougal · Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

That's an awesome and fair proposal, Mz. I like the fact that you're trying to be constructive instead of writing it off as things having to be one way or another. I support your proposal, if it would be acceptable by all.

Like Woo, we can't just ignore what has changed...it doesn't feel right or good for the moment. There's an inherent risk of stagnation, as we have lost some of our commonality of purpose. To make it more difficult, many of us are confused by what could have happened to cause this and have a lot of different feelings about it that muddle our ability to decide what we want. Time will tell.

I liked Mz's idea a great deal, but if it is not an accepted offer, I don't have a preference between continuing this forum or starting anew. I just want to continue to hang with friends!

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

Well I think I am just gonna pray that things can go back to the way they were. Maybe I am dreaming, but I think it might be too soon to move on.... I respect the points made, but I still think that this might not be the end of this in its current format.

Woo Hoo · The Chosen Woo

Ruby I would be all for resolution first and foremost. smile

But even with that, I think there would still have to be changes so that JR didn't always feel like the bad guy.

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

The sad part is I am not sure anyone feels that way... I know I don't. Things happen and we are sorry and move on.

Maybe I forgive too much, but I am a true Christian, my sins are forgiven and I know his are too! It brings me an innerpeace too- I can make a mistake and God knows I have, but I do not have to dwell on it too long. Just maybe learn a lesson and pray that I do not do it again!

disco strangler · Smiles everyone, smiles!

i don't like change... i'm a creature of habit and routine... i feel safe that way.

it's sad that things are at this point of having to decide of whether or not to pack up and move out... who is staying... who is leaving... where it's going...
why can't we all just learn from this without having to move on... as a family, why can't we make amends and work things out? it might be really hard work to make it happen, but only as hard as we make it. if we look at ourselves from the outside in there can be healing and peace...

i just hate to see things fall apart.... cry

i will be here hoping things resume to how they once were...

garougal · Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Whatever the individual issues at hand are, I unfortunately don't things will ever be quite the same. I remain, hopeful, however, that they can come to peace with them and even make amends. I think a lot of people feel pretty low about this, JR among them...but it is the forgiving and accepting nature of friends that keeps us together and strong.

disco strangler · Smiles everyone, smiles!

sometimes forgiveness is a slow painful process, but the end result is a far greater feeling peace than the woulda, coulda, shoulda's ... it all depends on how much you're willing to put behind you...

Woo Hoo · The Chosen Woo

DS-I am also not one much for change, but it is something I have been working on. The only thing I like to change a lot is my hair and my avatar. (Oh I better say underwear too before Sparky chimes in wink

)

But as Ggal said it most likely will not be the same. So change may be needed to bring it back together as best we can.

thumperglh · Thumptastic: Chef of the Stars

Here is my 2 cents.

I have calmed down much today and hope that I did not offend anyone or look like an ass at my posts, ( 2 days now with no ciggarettes and my boss told me I became an A$$ lol)

I am all for going either way. I like the idea of keeping FFR as a fan forum like MZ suggested but maybe starting a new one would not be so bad either. This happened once before with another club I was in. We started a Yahoo groups club and had everyone in thier. However like MZ and even Woo suggested Time goes on and people found less and less time to come to the forum and eventually it died to the point that maybe one post a year is keeping it going.

I have no intentions of taking sides and while I feel screwed that we were just dumped I dont intend to let that come between me and my friends. Most of you on here I know I have not talked to because I dont get on here as much but I miss making cyber feasts and listening to the djs get drunk at the anniversary show.

I hope we can all overcome this and while I agree that some will leave as they were tied to the music. I hope all of us can remain friends and still talk to each other. I keep in contact with a few members outside of the forum as I enjoy thier friendships. I hope that we can continue.

Woo Hoo · The Chosen Woo

Oh I forgot about you quitting Thumper! In that case I think you did very well! I coulda used a cigarette yesterday myself!
(You can quit but the urge always seems to come back from time to time. hmm

)

darleneapd · Cuff 'Em N' Stuff 'Em

Quitting smoking is so hard, did it once, and started again. What was I thinkin??

I was sitting outside my house last night w/ Kaisha and the dogs. We were chatting about this whole mess. What I know of it anyway, and my darling daughter, who's only 21 years young, said one thing to me, that made me think..... it was:

"It sounds like High School"......... made me think. As her mother and the adult here, it really does. The drama has to end, and the pointing fingers. JR is not a bad guy in my eyes, and neither is JD. Our friendships are very important to me, and let's hope we can work out the differences.

-- Edited by darleneapd at 14:06, 2007-07-31

WebGuy · Doesn't Do Windows

When I wrote "go from here" I meant from this point in time under the circumstances. That may be as Ruby suggests and do nothing and try to keep it as it was, or that may be try to make some changes. I just feel it should be discussed and decided as a group "where to go" next.

Yes, Mz, as long as I'm a member of the forum, I will be happy to help with the technical side. I don't even know how technical the back end of the forum really is. I just know that I am not a good person to be moderating the "people" side.

The only thing I have to add to your idea Mz, is that I don't believe JR will be willing to link to the forum from his new site. My understanding is that the FFR site will come down and he wants no forum associated with the new site/station. If his decision/willingness to do that will make a difference in what we decide to do here, I can certainly find that out for sure.

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

Yeah, I was waiting for feedback before taking the idea to JR. I think there would be a lot of stipulation on his end before the idea would work, but I didn't want to trouble him with it if we don't end up doing it.

venuscancer · Veteran Member

I'm a fairly new member and I check in every so often, but I'm shocked by this. Thought everyone here was great friends. I'm really sadden by this. Please let me know your station after this. Crazy but such is life. venuscancer@yahoo.com

willy_smith34 · Lord of Linguists

ok..... here goes....

My best friend and I had started accepting eachothers faults, and because of our own inner struggles let things escalate to a terrible degree. Strongwilled as we were we ended up not talking to each other for many years. Finally I ran into him and said hi, followed by a heartfelt sorry things got so screwed up between us, and a few weeks later he killed himself.
After that I have tried to be honest about anything a friend does that bothers me. I believe that although it isn't "our business" things have involved all/many of us to the point that the only way to mend is to put all the cards on the table, bare all our emotions and frustrations, and hash this out. I don't think that anybody's side matters, I am personnally sadened by what 2 friends have done to each other, and everyone around them. I know if the whole truth is laid bare many more might be hurt. In the end, and I mean after all is done, we can decide a way to break up or give mariage councelling a try. I would hope that parties involved can openly say what they did and why, sometimes the 2 sides of a coin are the same side looked at from different angles. I am hopefull that this family will continue to come together for sunday dinners as it were...

we need to take a step in a positive direction, and healing wounds is a great first step.

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

Thanks for sharing Willy.

I really have been praying about this and feel that a change is coming and that things might not be as bad as they first were. I might be wrong, but I believe that things here are too good for JR to truly walk away from...

Tennessee Gal · Chairwoman Of The Board

Hey guys-

Just wanted to check in and let you all know I'm hurting right now too. No, I don't get on the forum like I used to. Due to work and responsibilities at home, time just doesn't allow. But... I have always tried to keep up with the forum conversations as much as I could possibly lurk during work. And seeing this wonderful radio station and meeting place for friends fall apart is awful!!

I've lost so many friendships over the years due to my mouth. College friends, work associates, etc. After one extremely bad experience at my last job, I vowed not to get myself in another such situation.

I now try to live by these two mottos: "What can't be said in front of the talked about person, shouldn't be said at all" and 2: From "The Purpose Driven Life", "If what YOU"RE gossiping about isn't part of the solution, YOU'RE part of the problem."

I'm not preaching, I'm just glad I'm not mixed in the middle of this one THIS TIME. I do however hope we all have learned a life lesson from this. JR is obviously hurt and that's a shame. I've always found him to be a very sensitive, caring person. And to see his own creation fall apart and leave him feeling uncared for, unappreciated, and betrayed makes me really sad.

We all know time heals. I'm just not sure how much time is on our side in this particular instance. I definitely think we all need to focus some Thoughts and Prayers for all of our forum members tonight. A lot of us have really gotten through some horrific times thanks to the channeling this forum provides. I know I certainly appreciated all the thoughts/ prayers/ advice/ and friendship that you all provided me this year during my divorce process.

In case any of you all are wondering, I go to court mid-Sept. I am hoping it will be finalized at that time. The s and I all doing well and I am in a good place in my life right now. Thanks again to all of you who prayed for me and sent PMs of notes of concern.

May we do our best to maintain, nurture, and rebuild all of these relationships. I hope JR and JD mend their fences and I hope they return to us. If not, I hope MzHartz and Web and whoever else is able (I am not. I am technically challenged) to keep our group together will. I am also still hopeful for a get-together some time maybe in Chicago.

I love you guys!!