10 Turnoffs That Make Good Guys Wave Goodbye

By Jeff Cohen Special to Yahoo! Personals
Updated: Aug 4, 2007 

You're sitting across from a great guy you met on Yahoo! Personals. You can't remember the last time a first date went so well. You're attracted to the guy. He has all the qualities you're looking for in a mate. He would even get your mom's approval.

The date ends and you actually have butterflies. Not only does this guy have second and third date potential, but you can smell a relationship. Unfortunately, a week passes and the cold reality sinks in that this great guy has no intention of ever seeing you again.

Where did you go wrong?
How could you have misunderstood what you thought was great chemistry? Maybe it's time you learned the top 10 turnoffs that make good guys wave goodbye. If any of these fictional female daters sound like you, it's time for a first-date makeover.

Misleading Maggie: Her profile says no kids, athletic and raking in the big bucks. The first date reveals two young kids, an extended waistline and unemployment checks. Nothing says trust issues for a guy more than lies from the get-go.

Insecure Ilene: She reads into every comment a guy makes. She wants to know right away if date #2 can be tomorrow. She asks you to call the minute you get home. This clingy nature screams of a potential needy girlfriend lacking independence.

Third-Degree Donna: The cross-examination begins before the menus arrive. The questions are coming fast and furious, and the guy begins to feel like the defendant on the stand in a criminal trial. If a guy feels stuck under the interrogation lights, he'll run for the hills.

Tardy Tina: She arrives late, she no-shows, she changes plans last-minute, she loses his number, she flat-out just doesn't respect a guy's time. Fashionably late is one thing; keeping a guy waiting 30 minutes or no-showing is unacceptable.

High-Maintenance Hilda: "Thanks for taking me to this nice restaurant, but couldn't you get a table by the window?" The feeling that nothing is ever good enough makes a guy quit trying to impress. A simple thank you for a nice dinner is a better way to go.

Chatterbox Charlene: The conversation doesn't have to be 50 percent talking and 50 percent listening, but if she does all the talking it feels more like a seminar than a date. Charlene's opposite cousin, Pulling Teeth Patricia, is equally unsettling, making the guy do all the work.

Still-Hurting Sally: First dates are notorious for spilling the beans on what went wrong with prior relationships. Sharing an amusing anecdote is good; making it clear you're not over your ex-boyfriend is a definite no-no.

Game Player Gina: "Maybe I'll kiss you goodnight, maybe I won't." Good guys like to know where they stand. They leave the game-playing for the sports field. There's nothing wrong with flirting, but just know when it crosses over into deception and confusion.

Conceited Colleen: "Any guy would be lucky to have me." Guess what, the great guy across the table is also a real catch. Stop assuming every guy doesn't deserve you, and then you'll be on your way to actually landing a good one.

Matrimony Maureen: He dips his egg roll in duck sauce when all of a sudden she spills the beans on what they should name their kids. Intense relationships can be exciting for a good guy, but walking down the aisle before you walk each other home for the first time is a turn-off.

Those are 10 turnoffs, but I don't think I'd call them the top ten. I remember when I was dating, the things that aggravated me the most were:

Guys that bragged too much. And it was usually obviously over-exaggerated or just completely false. And a lot of guys brag about beating other guys up or getting away with illegal activities. How is that a turn on?

Insecurity. It's listed up there in the girls section, but I've actually met more guys with that problem. "I can't believe you're going out with a guy like me." "Nobody likes me." etc. Really, I dealt with a lot of this.

There was one guy I dated that drove me nuts. Like "Pulling Teeth Patricia" he wouldn't talk. I'd ask him something to try to get the conversation going, like "So, what kind of music do you like?" and he'd answer with something ambiguous like, "I like just about anything." And I'd keep trying, "Well, what artists do you listen to?" and he'd keep skirting the question, "Oh, no one in particular." Later, after we stopped seeing each other, one time he said, "Hey, we never talk anymore." I responded, "We never talked before!"