Things Women Should Know When Your Man Is Watching Football

With the beginning of the NFL regular season and the college football season on the horizon I felt that it was in my best interest to help the ladies cope with football season. Sometimes you may feel unappreciated and ignored during this time but please do not be selfish. Although football season seems long, understand that it is only 5 months out of the year and the majority of games are on the weekends. Considering that there are only 4 weekends per month, one can suggest, that a man only has 20 days to actually watch football. (Excluding bonus NFL and College Coverage). 20 days out of 365 should not be too much to give your man peace and football.  

So here is a list of things that women need to take into consideration

10. During the course of a football game it would be polite for you to pause and remain stationary on the side of the television while there is action happening on T.V. If for some strange reason you absolutely need to walk in front of the T.V. during a play do so expeditiously. A brief 3 to 4 step jog is encouraged depending on how big the T.V. is. Otherwise wait until there is a break in the action or a commercial to avoid confrontation.

9. If you need to talk on the phone during the game please lower your decibel level or exit the television area all together. Your sisters /mothers /girlfriends problems were there before the game and they will be there after the game. No need to take away from your partners football enjoyment by carrying on a conversation during the game.

8. Unless there is an emergency, there shouldnt be a need to summon your partner for any reason. Do not ask him to go to the store, take the trash out, or kill the big spider in the closet. Most things that you may want him to do you, more than likely, can take care of on your own. If needing him cannot be avoided, wait until half time or the end of the game.

7. Find somewhere else to go. You should have a female friend or two that have the same feelings as you do about game day. Connect and gather yourselves for a girls day out. Hit the movies, the mall, a restaurant, etc.

6. If you choose to sit and watch the game with him make it extra special by making some food to enjoy the game with. Nachos, cheeseburgers or even ordering a pizza are some good choices.

5. Keep your thoughts to yourself about the football players on T.V. He does not want to hear that number 87 is cute, number 21 can get it, or that number 44s ass looks nice in his football pants. He doesnt need to hear any of that or have those thoughts running through his head for the rest of the game.

4. Are you a female that is clueless about the whole sport in general? If so, try not to ask too many dumb questions during the game. Acceptable questions would be What position does he play?, How many points do they get for a field goal? or What do the receivers do? Make sure the questions help you to understand the game a little more. Unacceptable questions Why is the field green?, Are there really bears in Chicago? or Shouldnt soccer be called football and football be called hand ball? Keep your questions intelligent and youd be less of an aggravator.

3. Do not tell him that football is a dumb and brutal sport. Understand that football is a physical chess match full of strategy, defensive moves and athleticism that you wont find in too many other places. Football is a man's sport, although there are some females that are brave enough to run with the fellas. If you want a full understanding of how much heart it takes to play this game then pick up a football, run full speed in the front yard and tell him to tackle you as hard as he can. After you get out of the hospital youll better understand the toughness, physical condition and the work these guys put their selves through during the season.

2. Sex is highly encouraged during quarters 1-3. It is also encouraged during the 4^th quarter unless there is less than 2 minutes left and the game is close. If you feel the urge to absolutely do this with less than 2 minutes left in the game, then proceed to handle your business but be easy until the clock hits 0:00. Once time expires then go all out like it is the only cure for your death. (Warning: Providing this service while your mans favorite team is playing may be dangerous. Increased excitement or frustration due to certain plays or calls may result in you getting punched in the head.)

1. Nevereverever turn the T.V. off during the game for any reason. If your man promised to never hit you, this may be an instance where you could find yourself being tossed around and choked a little. If you decide that you want to pull this stunt one day please make sure it isnt the last play of a close game, because chances are, you will not be wearing a helmet to protect you from a sever concussion. Consider yourself warned.