When you just can't tell it like it is, count on someone to have come up with euphemisms to call it something utterly ridiculous. Some reader favorites:

1. Frick: You frickin' fricker, this really fricks me the frick off.
2. Flippin': A euphemism for that other f-word, e.g. "No flippin' way!"
3. Letting the Horsey Out of the Barn: In other words, your fly is undone.
4. Badonkadonk: Straight from Wikipedia, "Badonkadonk is a slang term for a woman's buttocks that are voluptuously large yet firm..." Per Tracy Morgan, "One cheek goes up, badonkadonk; the other goes down, badonkadonk."
5. Smuggling Grapes: What a man wearing a speedo is doing.
6. I'm Going to Talk to a Man About a Horse: What a woman calls "powdering her nose" or, in otherwords, taking a pee.
7. Shake the Dew Off the Lilly: I don't know where this came from, but when I was a kid and had to go to the bathroom in the woods, this is what we would say.
8. Extramarital Calisthenics: What a lovely formal term for free love, don't you think?
9. Powder My Nose: Euphemism for using the restroom. A friend has used this expression for years and now only taps his nose to exuse himself.
10. Break Wind: Of all the euphemisms for flatulance, I believe "break wind" is the most graphic description.
11. Coin Slot: Also known as "butt cleavage" or the more widely used "plumber crack".
12. Ross and Rachel: An amusing phrase to call an annoying, on-again, off-again couple. Or an even more amusing phrase to call a perfectly lovely couple so as to annoy them.
13. Beer Drought: As in, "This table is experiencing a beer drought. Who's buying?"
14. Man Suit: This was a perfectly good phrase to describe the naked, hairy male body before it was co-opted for a Dial commercial.
15. The Underwear That's Fun to Wear: This is the Underoos slogan, and it remains very hard to argue with.