1. *Intaxication*: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. *Reintarnation*: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. *Bozone* (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. *Foreploy*: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. *Cashtration* (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. *Giraffiti*: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. *Sarchasm*: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesnt get it.

8.* Inoculatte*: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9.* Hipatitis*: Terminal coolness.

10. *Osteopornosis*: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)

11. *Karmageddon*: Its like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and its like, a serious bummer.

12. *Decafalon* (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. *Glibido*: All talk and no action.

14. *Dopeler effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. *Arachnoleptic fit* (n.): The frantic dance performed just after youve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. *Beelzebug *(n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17.* Caterpallor* (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit youre eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18.* Ignoranus*: A person who is both stupid and an *******.