Life's little truths
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

Going to a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you have never tried before.

My idea of housework: Sweep the room with a glance.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Experience is wonderful. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.