More hay, Trigger? No thanks, Roy, Im stuffed!
Its lonely at the top, but you eat better.
I used to wake up grumpy. Now her new boyfriend does.
Campers: Natures way of feeding mosquitoes.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who couldnt control her pupils?
Im as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well theyre not laughing now.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Theres too much blood in my caffeine system.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
I wouldnt be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Hey Santa, how much is it for the list of naughty girls?
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Me neither.
When theres a will, I want to be in it.
This sentence contradicts itself. No, wait apparently it doesnt.
The information went data way.
Happiness is a warm puppy, said the anaconda.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible
Be popular. Otherwise people might not like you.
Cogito eggo sum I think, therefore I am a waffle.
Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.