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Post Info TOPIC: 32 things NOT to say to your pregnant wife...
Ruby


The Good Witch Of The South

    



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32 things NOT to say to your pregnant wife...
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32 Not to imply anything, but I dont think the kid weighs forty pounds.
31 Yknow, looking at her, youd never guess that Jessica Alba had a baby!
30 I sure hope your thighs arent gonna stay that flabby forever!
29 Well, couldnt they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
28 Damn if you aint about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.
27 Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, thats gotta hurt.
26 Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!
25 Im jealous! Why cant men experience the joy of childbirth?
24 Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
23 Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!
22 Geez, youre awfully puffy looking today.
21 Got milk?
20 Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.
19 Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
18 Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.
17 Yeah, well you dont have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass.
16 Sure youll get your figure back well just search 1995 where you left it.
15 Keys are on the fridge, honey. Ill see you at the hospital at half-time.
14 Sure, the doctor said youre eating for two - but he didnt mean two Orcas.
13 Honey Come show the guys your Brando impression!
12 Roseanne, what have you done with my wife?!
11 How come youre so much fatter than the other chicks in Lamaze?
10 Sweetheart, whered you put that Victorias Secret catalog?
9 Whats the big deal? If you can handle *me* going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out.
8 Hey, when youre finished pukin in there, get me a beer, willya?
7 Why in the *world* would I want to rub your feet?
6 Thats not a bun in the oven its the whole friggin bakery!
5 You know, now that you mention it, you *are* getting fat and unattractive.
4 Oh, this is just great! Now, on top of everything else, child support.
3 Yo, Fatass! Youre blocking the TV!
2 No, I dont know where the remote is! Have you looked under your breasts?
and the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife.
1 I know todays your due date, but Larry just got a 10-point buck and thats a reason to celebrate, too.

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Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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33. "So now you're going to be a pumpkin belly, huh?"

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Ruby


The Good Witch Of The South

    



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Pambo wrote:

33. "So now you're going to be a pumpkin belly, huh?"



 Mr Pambo????



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Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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The ex-Mr. Pambo...that jack@$$.

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Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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The current Mr. Pambo & I had this convo when I was pregnant with my son:

Me: (crying) I'm sorry. It's just the hormones.
He: "I PAID YOU!"

(The joke is "How do you make a hormone?" "You don't pay her!")

I laughed for hours about that one.

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Woo Hoo


The Chosen Woo

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Who the heck is the jerk who said all these things?!! furious

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confuzzed


Permanent State of Confusion

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rofl.gif

You don't pay her.

I have to share this one.

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confuzzed


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Woo Hoo wrote:

Who the heck is the jerk who said all these things?!! furious


Now Woo, we are talking about men here.



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Woo Hoo


The Chosen Woo

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well at least mine has already been through a pregnancy and should have learned all the don'ts

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Mad Mema


Bad Biker Granny



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Pambo wrote:

The current Mr. Pambo & I had this convo when I was pregnant with my son:

Me: (crying) I'm sorry. It's just the hormones.
He: "I PAID YOU!"

(The joke is "How do you make a hormone?" "You don't pay her!")

I laughed for hours about that one.





rofl.gif sometimes Mr. Pambo comes off with a good one!

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MM

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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Yeah. On occasion he's funny as all get out. Mostly though, he doesn't get my sense of humor. It's okay cuz I laugh at him A LOT!

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Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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Oh yeah. The ex-Mr. Pambo also said:

"You ARE going to lose the weight, aren't you?"

My morning sickness lasted almost 8 whole months. I was so sick that I only goained 1 pound over my pre-pregnancy weight by 8 months.

Good thing we were already split up by then.

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Mad Mema


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That's the best part. Hilarious when he is not trying to be. As much as you hate him, Kev-o is the same way. I remember TONS of laughs at his dopey expense.

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That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Pambo


Waiting To Be Widowed

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Mad Mema wrote:

That's the best part. Hilarious when he is not trying to be. As much as you hate him, Kev-o is the same way. I remember TONS of laughs at his dopey expense.





We STILL laugh at him.

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Sparky


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#33.

When your wife is in labor never NEVER ever EVER say... Just keep pushing you should be getting used to the pain by now. blankstare.gif

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Pambo


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Really bad idea...

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Oh Sparky. Please tell us you didn't try to be funny with that. no.gif  I am surprised AC didn't kill you for that.

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Sparky


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Yes, I will never live that one down, also 3 hours into her labor I kept looking at the monitor and telling her she was only dialated at a 3 when in actuality for the last hour she was at a 10 and I shoulda rang the bell. Mr. Sparky would have been better in the waiting room.

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Sometimes, when i'm lonely... i crawl into a laundry basket and tickle my ears. But, Some times I don't...
Mad Mema


Bad Biker Granny



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I'm kinda surprised she didn't insist you repeatedly open an umbrella up your back side to see how YOU get used to the pain.

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MM

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
confuzzed


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I guess you will know for next time.

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Sparky


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Mad Mema wrote:

I'm kinda surprised she didn't insist you repeatedly open an umbrella up your back side to see how YOU get used to the pain.





Oh trust me, as much as I get reemed we might be close to even by now. nod.gif

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Sometimes, when i'm lonely... i crawl into a laundry basket and tickle my ears. But, Some times I don't...
Mad Mema


Bad Biker Granny



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HAHAHAHAHA! I bet AC sees it differently!

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Dylan


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Sparky, a wise man once told me there is no shame in running when you are scared.  Riggs has heard me say that countless times.  He rolled his eyes many times at it.  As long as you dont scream like a little girl, its all good.  Exercise, regardless of motivation is a good thing.

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Mad Mema


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An excellent point.

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That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Jeremy Riggs


2011 Super Bowl Champions!

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Dylan wrote:

Sparky, a wise man once told me there is no shame in running when you are scared.  Riggs has heard me say that countless times.  He rolled his eyes many times at it.  As long as you dont scream like a little girl, its all good.  Exercise, regardless of motivation is a good thing.



 

'tis true nod.gif

If I had a nickel for everytime he's said it I'd have 73 trillian dollars hmm.gif



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Dylan


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Dude!  You cant even imagine that big a number, so how could I have said it 20 X 73 trillion times?

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Jeremy Riggs


2011 Super Bowl Champions!

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I KNOW! I was shocked when I added it all up too!!! But it's a fact nod.gif

I've made a hash mark in my notepad every time you've trotted it out. I have a whole room full of notepads now hmm.gif

-- Edited by Jeremy Riggs at 18:26, 2008-09-04

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Dylan


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My friend, you would need all the storage lockers in Wisconsin to fit all those notebooks...not to mention semi's dropping pens and paper around the clock!

nana.gif

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Jeremy Riggs


2011 Super Bowl Champions!

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Look man, I'm not the only one who's noticed...

mcdonalds.jpg

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Dylan


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lmao.gif


Didnt realize I was a cultural ICON. biggrin

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