Iran has decided to pre-emptively strike the United States and President MadMema is the only person who can stop the attack.
The red phone next to her bed rings, but because she works such crazy long hours at Sprint, she's not available to take the call.
The next call goes to the only other person that could POSSIBLY step in and avert the crisis. Vice President Dylan. But because he works nights at the Waukesha Correctional Facility he's not available to take the call either.
NO ONE IS THERE TO INTERVENE!
Your family, your friends, your pets...
Gone.
On November 4 vote Hartz / Riggs. They only work 8 hours a day between them!
President Mema works middle of the night hours from the comfort of her bedroom office, conveniently co-located with the red phone. Mema is a champion of the multi-tasking and is aware that her not red phone has both hold and mute features, therefore without missing a beat she will not hesitate to pound any such hostile threat making nations back to the pleistocene era. President Mema is very strong on national defense.
__________________
MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Hartz/Riggs, would you like to put a sign in my yard?
Why yes Web, thank you.
Did you want the standard 2 foot by 1 foot yard sign, the special 4 foot by 8 foot mega-sign, or the super deluxe, 12,000 light bulb, stadium scoreboard style yard sign?
If you get the last one it comes complete with a fireworks display that goes off upon our nomination!
Web... The only threat to your doggie is the theoretical threat by my esteemed opponents. Mema has vast experience in dealing with psychotic megalomaniacs, and does not back down.
__________________
MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
I notice you didn't comment on your secret plan to imprison all the nations pets though!!!
INTERESTING! Sometimes it's what the candidates DON'T say that tells us all we need to know!
I did not comment on any such secret plan because none exists. The Mema / Dylan ticket does not harbor intentions of imprisoning the nations pets OR our political opponents. First Kitty Eddie and his friend from next door Taz (neighbor's pit bull) are happily campaigning with the Mema / Dylan ticket.
__________________
MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Yeah, a lot of communities ban pit bulls because of their volatility.
Of course, Hartz/Riggs recognize it's not the dogs fault, but can you trust the judgement of a ticket that actually puts one of them on the campaign trail where they could bite a baby?
First of all, let me state that although I do not begrudge my opponent the right to get in touch with his feminine side or dress the way "he" sees fit...I will call him on what appears to be padding the coin purse region of his bikini. The Mema/Dylan campaign stands for truth in advertising. We run a totally transparent campaign.
The only threat to your doggie is the theoretical threat by my esteemed opponents. Mema has vast experience in dealing with psychotic megalomaniacs, and does not back down.
