I wanted to say thank you to all the forum members for their concern and kindness over the last two weeks.

My mom's passing on January 22nd still seems very surrealistic to me. I just thought I would share some random observations.  Writing helps me to sort through my thoughts and make sense of things.  I think that is what I enjoy about songwriting the most.

First and foremost...family and friends are truly what make us rich.  The memories of the people in our lives and our experiences are all we will ever get to take with us when we leave this world.  

As humans, we very rarely are content with "now" or what we have.  Most people either look back on the past with nostalgia or regret or look forward to the future.  Very few people savor this exact moment right now.  Most people...even wealthy people who could live very comfortably on what they have always want "more".  Why is that?

I am thinking of the last day I got to spend with my mom.  She needed a lift to run errands.  Had I appreciated that day fully instead of thinking about other things I still needed to get done before I went to work that night, I would have lived that day so much differently.

We need to savor the "now" because we never know when it will be the last time we experience something or share time with someone.  Even if it isn't the last time, our appreciation and depth of that experience will be fuller. 

Our world moves fast.  We seldom have the luxury of time to fully appreciate what just happened now.  Obligations and deadlines always seem to limit reflection or appreciation of what has just occurred.  Just ask the players who played in Super Bowl XLIII.  They are probably already focussing on next season I would bet.

Some things force us to dwell a little longer on the present.  My mom's death has forced me to look at this moment right now and its uniqueness.  She was a little lady who has left a very big impression even with her absence.  I am forced to see how different things feel and seem.  Her thread has been removed from the tapestry of time and the color of now seems somewhat less vibrant.

I am sure this will somehow work its way into my music and songwriting.  My mom was a true source of encouragement.  It will be very sad to think I wont be able to play a "new" song for her.  I am somewhat comforted to think she was the one who bought me my first guitar and took me to guitar lessons.  She encouraged my songwriting.  Every time I pick up a guitar, it can be traced back to her love, time and encouragement.  So in a very big way, she is still with me "Now".

But if there is any doubt....life does indeed go on.  I noticed that the thread I started "With A Heavy Heart" has dropped to the bottom of page 4.  Just like in the newspapers, new "headlines" appear.  I have gone back to work.   The Sheriff's Department has continued to serve and protect. 

Life does go on, but for me... I see now very differently.