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Mad Mema


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There are entire websites dedicated to collecting these "facts".

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Dylan


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My friend is a martial arts champion...

He trained with Chuck Norris in New York...

Chuck was the best man at my friend's wedding about 6 years ago.

He seemed like a very nice guy.

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Mad Mema


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Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.


He apparently has a good sense of humor too.. one of the websites has a list of "facts" that he picked as his favorites.


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Dylan


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Gracious man...he has to be somewhat flattered by the tongue in cheek attention.

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Mad Mema


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There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.


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Dylan


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lmao.gif

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Mad Mema


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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he does not turn on the light. He turns off the dark.

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Dylan


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Amazing power.  smile

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Mad Mema


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The wind of Chuck Norriss round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.

Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.



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Dylan


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Those last 2 are awesome.  biggrin

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Mad Mema


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Yeah, they have some really funny ones out there.

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Dylan


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First time seeing them was today

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Mad Mema


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Cool! A new laugh is always fun.

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Mad Mema


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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.



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Mad Mema


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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.


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Dylan


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Sounds a little bit like dating  biggrin

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Mad Mema


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rofl.gif High five for that one!

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Dylan


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Does 5'2" constitute a "high five"?

nana.gif

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Dylan


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...but thank you.  biggrin

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Mad Mema


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I will have you know that with my shoes on I'm 5'5" - 5'6". nana.gif And I have a step ladder.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris doesnt wash his clothes, he disembowels them.



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Dylan


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Good things come in little packages...but the shoes and the ladder are all useful atems I am sure...

The butter one was pretty good.  biggrin

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Mad Mema


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I once completely intimidated my son Jeremy (6'1") when he was caught misbehaving by pointing up at his face and saying (in the mean mommy voice), "Don't you make me stand on a chair!" To this day, I have no idea why he didn't just laugh at me.

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Dylan


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didnt want to disappoint you...the tone can be lethal wink

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Mad Mema


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I guess so. laughing.gif I asked him about that later and he said, "I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't know what was going to happen if you did get up on a chair, but I figured it was going to end badly for me." laughing.gif Love that kid.

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Dylan


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You are one scary little mama.

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Mad Mema


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I have watched all of the Chuck Norris movies. biggrin.gif

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MzHartz


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Chuck Norris can play World of Warcraft on dialup. And win.




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MzHartz


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Chuck Norris can slam elevator doors.



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MzHartz


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Chuck Norris beats rocks, paper and scissors.


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MzHartz


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Chuck Norris can't have tattoos because the needles can't pierce his skin.

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