I have lived next to some very loud, very inconsiderate neighbors for almost a decade. Diplomacy has never worked with these people. So I was wondering if anyone has any obnoxious neighbor stories and if there were any happy endings not involving gunplay?
Any amusing or harmlessly retaliatory behavior involved? I am all ears.
This one guy was so upset by his white trash neighbors, complete with white icicle Christmas lights all year long (and that was the least upsetting), he finally created a website in honor of the house. He was careful to fuzz out any identifying marks (street names and numbers, etc.) But it became SO popular online. We're talking homemade wire fencing, accidentally scorched lawn, really a piece of work... I don't know if the neighbor found out about the site, but apparently he eventually cleaned up his act so the site was removed. But it was entertaining while it lasted.
A friend of mine has noisy kids in the house behind her court. The kids just blair their music all the time - she said the mom is a drunk and doesn't parent at all. Sad really, but apparently unless it's after 10pm, the cops can't do anything! I can't imagine having to live with that day in and day out until 10pm. Ridiculous.
My family and I recently moved to a new house, leaving behind a new construction home we had been in for only 3 1/2 years. There were multiple reasons but one huge one was the neighbors, and quite a few of them. On the warm weather weekends it would be Friday and Saturday for sure, sometimes Sunday. Sometimes Wednesday. Were talking large amounts of beer, LOUD talking, fire pit you could see from space, kids running around, dogs barking, you name it. This would regularly go until 1 or 2 in the morning. Don't ask about the 4th of July.
Like you Dylan, diplomacy didn't work and neither did a trip to court with one of the families. The noise ordinace in the town was so weak that we lost the case even though the judge believed the noise to be excessive. Combine that with ridiculous taxes and a lousy school district and you can see why we moved.
I wish I could offer a solution, Dylan, but as you said talking to people with a partyin' jones just doesn't seem to work. They just don't give a rip about their neighbors. But they were good for my prayer life!
WFTR, I see I am not the only one dealing, or has dealt with people who think they are the center of the universe.....just another thing to offer up and another reason to pray for patience.
Dylan, you've opened a can of worms: My parents have some of the most white trash neighbors, I am so glad I don't live there anymore. The neighborhood is a pretty good one, your typical middle class neighborhood, but my parents seemed to pick the worst part of it. Boy, do I have stories!
One night we were sitting in the living room when we hear this big boom and the front screendoor briefly open and slam shut. We went outside, surveyed our yard and our immediate neighbors, and couldn't find anything wrong. Later, we found out that two blocks away they were having a party and decided to have a bonfire. It wouldn't light, so guess what they used? You've got it: gasoline.
Their neighbor to the immediate north had a raccoon find her way into his attic and have babies. Not long after, he fixed his chimney without knowing about the baby raccoons. He came home one night after drinking at a bar down the street and passed out in his chair in the living room. The mama raccoon dug her way through his roof, came crashing through his ceiling, and landed directly on top of his television. He woke up, grabbed the shotgun off the wall, shot the raccoon, and passed out.
One saturday morning, we were all going to go out to breakfast. We never went out to breakfast, so it was a really special thing. As we were showering and such, we hear this loud sound in our back wall and the power went out. The first thought was the a transformer exploded. So we looked out our back window and found that our neighbors behind us had been cutting a tree down and it landed on the power lines, ripping our main line out of our house. The neighbors promptly got in their car and left, leaving their children behind, who began poking the power line with a stick. We didn't get to go to breakfast, I was crushed.
And finally, their neighbors to the south are some of the weirdest people I know. Their house needed painted 16 years ago when we moved in. One day they decided to paint one side. They started from the bottom and painted about halfway up when they realized they should scrape the old paint off first, so then they started scraping the old paint off in the area over the fresh wet paint. They got tired and haven't touched it since. But, about two years ago, they decided to try painting their house again, this time blue. They started in the front of their house. Right now, they have most of the front painted, and that's about it. One time, they tore up their entire yard and planted new seed in the middle of summer, so they really didn't have grass until the next year. Now, they mow their lawn diagonally. Recently, they purchased a huge boulder for decoration in their front yard. I could go on and on abut these people...
So, when my husband and I got our own place, we didn't move into the best neighborhood. The house our apartment was in should've been condemned. Upstairs there was a weird divourced alcoholic guy. Our neighbors next to us had a hard time making rent because the boyfriend was normally in jail. When he wasn't, he made money by stealing and selling car stereos. The neighbors above us were crack dealers with two small children who were of course the worst behaved children I've ever met. One time, my husband and I were on the porch watching the hell-spawn play with a rope. They tied it to the antenna of their dad's (I think he was their dad) new SUV. The dad comes out and yells at them to get in the house because he had to leave (I don't think mom was home), so they run upstairs. He hops in the SUV and takes off. The rope gets caught around the back tire and rips the antenna out with a loud bang. (It's not even hanging there, it has been ripped totally out.) He gets out of the car and looks around, because he can't figure out what happened. We finally tell him, and actually kept our laughter to ourselves until he left.
Now I live in a pretty quiet and boring neighborhood!
I am spoiled now. I live in a community with CC&R's. I hardly see let alone hear my neighbors. I could not even tell you their last names on the houses on either side of me. I am also at the top of a cul de sac which helps a lot.
However, in the past I have been known to spray paint windows black. Sugar in the gas tank. Go to a pay phone an report a robbery in progress at their address. Of course, don't get caught.
It is difficult because none of the measures I took worked. They were so apathetic.
In our neighborhood instead of garbage cans the ordinance requires dumpsters at the end of the neighborhood (supposed to look nicer). Our neighbor has never said one word to me, waved at me or even acknowledged I live right next door thought it was ok to use my back yard as a short cut to the dumpsters. The way our yard is landscaped with various small hills he then has to walk directly by our bathroom window. After about a year of this and a path he had worn thru my lawn I put a sign up in the path to please stay off grass! He just went around it. Finally I put one on his door explaining every time he passed thru my yard he walked directly by the bathroom window and to please stay off! This finally worked.
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Sometimes, when i'm lonely... i crawl into a laundry basket and tickle my ears. But, Some times I don't...
I had the same thing Sparky. I combated it by being appearing nude as he passed by or simply dropping and flashing. Luckily he wasn't interested in me--and didn't enjoy the view. I stopped very quickly.
Let's keep this thread running, but I think we can all agree that Mz is the winner! You've earned that quiet & boring neighborhood.
We just had a story in the Chicago area about a Palatine man who, after 10 beers of course, decided that he could light one of those mortar style fireworks that you see at the big shows, and put the wick out before it blew. He, of course, was wrong, destroyed his rental house, and put him and his live-in girlfriend in the hospital. The fire dept. said the only reason it wasn't worse was because the gas and electric to house was already shut-off. No money for utilities, but plenty for beer and boom!
Okay, here's one for ya... the last crummy rental we had before wising up about what to look for in a rental townhouse. We were the second from the end in a row of townhomes. The end townhomes was rented by a family from Columbia. When I say family, I mean extended, extended family. And the only reason I know they were from Columbia, was getting a knock at the door from someone who must've been a cousin looking for the place. The only word he could come up with that I might understand was "Columbian?" The last townhouse had the front door on the side, which is why I'm sure he came knocking to us first.
Anyway, one day I come home and my SO is standing on the porch, I ask what he's doing and he grins and says "listen". A few seconds later I hear it - clucking. They've brought in all these live chickens and the women are in the backyard decapitating them and plucking the feathers. We decided it was either voodoo or a barbeque. City ordinance I'm sure bans livestock, but as long as we didn't smell fowl carcasses in a few days we decided to leave well enough alone. Ugh.
We also got to watch our own local TV channel doing their local version of COPS pull one of these guys over for drinking and driving. Not being able to produce a drivers license because he left it at home, they promptly escorted him home to get it. So we got to see our townhouse on TV!
Now I'm probably the white trash of the neighborhood. My neighbor mows my lawn because he knows I won't get to it before it starts bugging him. I had the kiddie pool in the backyard collecting pond scum for a while, but steer clear of those now. For a while my brother lived with me and he had tires and car parts in my backyard. I really try not to slack off, but as far as single mom priorities go, yardwork and maintenance falls way down low on the list. But I intend to get a dinner for two certificate for the lawn mowing!
Okay...I have a neighbor who I lovingly describe as a new version of Sanford & Son! He's back yard looks like a dump! I actually watched him climb a ladder one day to trim the 30-40 trees in the drainage ditch behind our houses....okay....he climbed to the top rung of an extension ladder...with a running chainsaw and cut the tree directly over his own head!!!!!! Later that same day he fell from the ladder with the running chainsaw still in his hand! I was hoping for natural selection to take affect but no such luck yet! The only saving grace for us is we live in a pretty strict home owners association that doesn't take to kindly to some of his antics and have fined him repeatedly! I'm hoping eventually he'll move but I have my doubts.Otherwise, the rest of my neighbors are great!
We live in a townhome and I can tell you horror stories about one of our next door neighbors that bought the unit next to us last Dec and their total remodel of all 3 floors that is still ongoing. However, at work now and can't take the time but I will reply with the details probably tomorrow morning.
We just moved into a new house in a big city less than a year ago. On one side of us we have the billie family. I actually think they have a guy hidden in the basement. He is never in the front of the house. I never see him leave or arrive but every once in a while I see him coming out the basement or going back into the basement. Very strange for a 30 somthing looking guy. I think i might try to catch america's most wanted this week now that i think about it.
The other side is school janitor. He is a very strange one. The kind of neighbor that you hear about on the news, oh, he is such a nice quiet man, I never knew there were 15 dead preschool children buried in the back yard. Right now he waging a silent war with the satelite dish that peeps over his hedge. He has now completely stopped trimming the hedge.... secretely in the night, in the dark, I go out and snap a couple of branches off the bush he has been trying to grow the hedge since July of last year. I am actually planning on trimming the thing as it looks like crap and he hasn't said a word about the satelite dish at all to us. I will just feign ignorance if he freaks.
Hopefully i don't end up like those preschool children..... <shudder>
I like your style Zim
