Ladies and flippers of the TV audience, before we return to our late, late carafe, I want to tell you about a constipated musical offer. For only five dollars and ninety-five prunes, you can now get all of the broken hits that Sparky has put out over the past 42 years. This album is on a four-track hemorrhoid and features such hits as, "Raindrops Are Falling On My Rear-End" and "Camping May Be Dangerous to Your Bottle." The album was recorded at the famous Santa Barbara Radio Festival by the Riggs Rock Band, featuring the super-leaky guitars. Act now! This may be your last chance to get such a bright bargain.