Reminds me of the Christmas song "There's Another Santa Claus":
There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus there Everywhere you look you can't escape There's Santas everywhere Bells are ringing, children screaming Something doesn't seem right His beard is gray, that's a nice toupee But his eyebrows oughta be white
There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus there One at the mall and one in the window Sitting in a velvet chair Fat ones, skinny ones, tall ones, short ones Cheeks so rosy and bright That Christmas cheer smells a lot like beer Call Santa Claus a cab tonight
"Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!"
"Ho, ho, ho"
"Yo man! Word to the Kringle. Santa's in the house. Yo ho, ho!"
"Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas. No, I cannot break a twenty dollar bill. I'm very sorry."
"Ho, ho, ho. Hey, what am I doing here? Happy Hanukkah!"
Just saw Santa Claus Just saw Santa Claus Just gave a Santa Claus change Drove downtown and a bell ringing Santa Claus Hit me up again When those sleigh bells jingle jangle On my roof top tonight Will my chimney be backed up With Santas all crammed in tight
There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus there Everywhere you look you can't escape There's Santas everywhere Bells are ringing, children screaming Something doesn't seem right His beard is grey That's a nice toupee But his eyebrows oughta be white
__________________
MM
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Okay. It's finally out there. I've said it once and I'll say it again:
Santa was a jerk.
No, no, not to me. To Rudolph. And I think because of his position and influence and the potential for coal-filled stockings, we let the Fat Man's open discrimination and self-interest slide long enough.
I mean, the evidence is clear and we've all witnessed it. Santa takes one look at Rudolph's glowing nose and does he tell the other reindeer to lay off with the name-calling?
Does he use this as a teachable moment to explain how some clay stop-motion reindeer have lightbulb noses and some don't, but that we're all equal in Santa's eyes?
Does he instate an inclusive reindeer games policy?
No. He's as bad as the rest of them. He makes a mockery of Rudolph's nose. And then-- only when he realizes that the shiny schnoz could suit his own needs-- then he uses Rudolph by conning him into a high-risk flight.
No "I was wrong, Rudolph."
No "I will no longer support discriminatory practices in this workplace, Rudolph."
No "Please don't find an elf who secretly desires to be a lawyer and then sue the red knickers off me, Rudolph."
Nope. Nothing.
And Rudolph, raised in an atmosphere of ostracism and low self-esteem, totally takes it without a single, "Oh, so ya like me now, huh? Well, it's a little late for that, Nicky-boy."
No, Rudolph's just grateful for Santa's acknowledgment, the poor deer.
It's a sad, dysfunctional situation if ever I saw one, and frankly, I've totally lost respect for Mr. HoHoHo.
So this year, I'm skipping the milk and cookies for the Fat Man. Instead, I'm leaving some deer treats and this note.
Santa:
Please give these reindeer num-nums to Rudolph, and you can skip the presents for me this year. It's bad enough you're running an elf-labor sweatshop--
And you're clearly violating copyright laws by replicating toys that actual corporations hold the trademarks on and passing them off as legit--
But your Equal Opportunity policies stink, too.
So go ahead and give me coal if you dare. With the current rates on fossil fuels, I'll be making out all right.
-Jenn
I think if enough of us leave notes like this, Santa might be forced to pay attention and do something about it. Fair is fair. Let's show Mr. Naughty-or-Nice that we can't be bribed into silence anymore!
