I didn't get to watch it last night, but I wanted to. Two of my favorite quotes are "What we have here is a failure to communicate," and "Fill your hands you son of b#tch!"
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
"Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests ?" - col. mustard "You don't need any help from me." - wadsworth "That's right!" - col mustard
"But is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up after multiple murder?" - prof plum "Yes. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover?" - wadsworth
There are a ton of one liners in the 1930 Marx Brothers Animal Crackers...
One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know. Then we tried to remove the tusks...but they were embedded in so firmly that we couldn't budge them. Of course, in Alabama, the Tusk-a-loosa. But, uh, that's entirely irrelephant to what I was talking about. We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed, but we're going back again in a couple of weeks. - Capt. Spaulding (Groucho)
going home for the night and decided to leave with some more clue-do's
But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared. - wadsworth But that was his job. He was an illusionist. - mrs white But he never reappeared!! - wadsworth He wasn't a very good illusionist. - mrs white
How many husbands have you had? -col. mustard Mine or other womens'? -mrs white Yours! - col. mustard Five, yes just the five. Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable. - mrs white
What are you afraid of, a fate worse than death? - prof plum No, just death, isn't that enough? -mrs peacock
We're like the Mounties; we always get our man. -wadsworth Mrs. Peacock was a man?!?!? - mr green