Tough times Ruby.  I'm thinking of you and praying. 

Today did not go well. I went to see her this am and that was not the best way to start the day. I do not think she knew who I as. She was trying very hard to speak to me, but with a tube down her throat, she could not talk. I left because she was freaking me out trying to talk. I did not want to upset her. And she was upseting me too much.

I spent the next 4 hours at the mall with my kids. I got most of his school supplies and clothes, but it took that long.

Went to the nursing home to get some of my mom's things and came back to lay Emily down for her nap and the phone rang. It was the socliticor's office to tell me that they are not dropping the charges against my son. He told me to hurry up and obtain legal counsel, because the law mandates that I have to have a lawyer. Well that was all it took. I finally had my breakdown. His supervisor called me back and they have agreed to put this off until my mother's situation stabilizes, but not drop the charges.

Then my mother's lawyer calls me about something I have been trying to wrap up for four months dealing with an accident that she was in and some medical bills that remained. She will get the remainder of the money and we could use it for her badly- it is a couple of grand. Anyway he is a knitwit and I had to let him know that.

I have told off many people today.

Then my sister called and said do not go and see mom tonight. She is completely delusional and they do not know if it is permanent. So here I am. I am emotionally drained. But I know this will pass, I am just ready to go to bed. Pray that I can rest. I did color my hair and gave myself a pedicure to try to perk myself up- did not work though, but at least I look better! I will update as I can. If this is too depressing, I apologize, maybe just don't read the thread

I am deeply sorry for the situation you're going through Ruby.    I really am.   My mother died a year and a half ago and the week leading up to it was one of the most panic-inducing and depressing moments of my life.   Watching someone you love so much getting weaker and weaker and knowing there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, giving up praying for a miracle because you know its not going to happen.

No matter what, cherish these moments with your mother while you still can.  I still in many ways have yet to actually "get over" my mom's death.  I dream about her frequently and look forward to the day we'll meet again (well, I'm not suicidal or anything as that might've come off sounding).

You're in my prayers.

No change today. Still delusional. I went this morning and met with the speech therapist and the psychiatrist.

They are keeping her feeding tube in for now and keeping a low oxygen flow in her nose. They are not sure if she can chew and swallow. They do know her infection was caused by an infection in her bladder. (I may have mentioned that!)

They do not know the cause of the delusion behavior, and are trying to recreate her initial medicine scenario- getting her back on all of her prescriptions to see if that helps. She is seeing things and keeps talking about babies and animals. She did not know one of my sisters and has been cussing like a sailor.

My sisters and I are all taking a break tonight to rest and regroup. Mom really does not know we are not there, so we are using this time wisely. I did not end up going anywhere but to run a few errands, but I have set it up tomorrow to be alone for about 5 hours!

Thanks again!