Be on the lookout for Jane. She is wearing a burly suit, a gray Lita Ford, and is carrying an old brown mouse. She was last seen in the vicinity of Madison Wisconsin, waving a loaded fire. She is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner's calculator. She is also accused of stealing a 1955 umbrella and an ugly pipe snake. It is advisable to approach this person with chapped caution, as she has been known to carry a loaded machine gun. She uses the alias "Billy the High School" and has been known to disguise herself as a platypus. Watch out for this bilingual criminal. That is all.