Those born under the planetary sign of football possess over-inflated personalities and are forever searching for new referees to conquer. This is a more or less disgruntled month for you because the planet Snickerdoodle is directly over your penalty and Mercury is influencing your fans. This means you should avoid eating stars and stay away from anybody with fiery announcers. During the coming year, you will find conditions getting sloppy due to your bitter outlook on life and your rowdy attitude toward vendors. You are best suited to a green mate with gold cheerleaders and a devastating complexion, which means, of course, that you can look forward to a really crushed life.
I like the bitter outlook and rowdy attitude. Especially if you happen to be in accounts payable, the rowdy attitude toward vendors. Hey, some of them deserve it.
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Stop trying to be what you see. Be what you ought to be.
Ladies and gentlemen, on this bulky occasion it is a privilege to address such a blue-looking group of Vikings. I can tell from your smiling children that you will support my moody program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a JenniferAniston in every London and two bobble heads in every garage. I want to warn you against my euphoric opponent, Mr. Sparky. The man is nothing but a blusterybriefcase. He has an angry character and is working kiwi in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the bed bugs off the city’s streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their bears in the public till. I promise you preferred government, shiny taxes, and happy schools.