Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Freeze-Frame Radio -> Freeze-Frame Radio Lounge -> 80s jokes
Post Info TOPIC: 80s jokes
Anonymous

Date:
80s jokes
Permalink  

I have not read them all, but they seem clean from the first 20~


What do you call a Yugo with no wheels? A no-go Q: Why did N.A.S.A. get Pepsi to sponser the Space Shuttle? A: Because they could not get 7-Up (Seven Up)? What you call Madonna after she does L.S.D? Mad-on-Acid What is the difference Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor? Michael Jackson was burned using Pepsi and Richard Pryor was burned using Coke. How many teenagers can fit into a Yugo? No one knows, none of them want to risk being seen in one! I own two 1987 Yugo's, both run great still. Q: How are the NES and Michael Jackson the same? A: Little boys turn them both on. Q: What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheel chair? A: Roll-Aids Q: What do you call a Yugo station wagon? A: A We-go. What does Micheal Jackson have in common with a second place winner? A: They both come in a little behind. Q: What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common? A: They both put their meat in 12-year-old buns.


What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill? A miracle Q: What do you call two gay guys named Bob? A: Oral Roberts Q: What do male prostitutes and The Pink Panther have in common? A: Peter Sellers Q: Why was Rock Hudson buried face down? A: So that his partners could have a cold one. A Reaganism that a friend of mine did every time he imitated the Gipper: "Well, before I start speaking, I'd like to say..." One I remember from Johnny Carson, circa mid-80s: It's said that there are only three man-made structures visible from space: the Great Wall of China, Tip O'Neill, and Don King's hair. A: What was the last thing on Donny Hathaway's mind? A: Seventh Avenue. Correction to a previous joke. Q: How do you spell Canada? A: C-eh-N-eh-D-eh!!! Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Elton John are doing a song together? It's called "Don't let your son go down on me........ What does Sears and Michael Jackson have in common? litte boy's pants on sale..... What would happen if Whoopi Goldberg married Scooby Doo? Whoppi Doo! Q. Why did the Valley Girl take two birth control pills? A. To be "fer sure, fer sure." What about all the "grosser-than-gross" jokes, eg: What's grosser than gross? I don't know, what? Eeating a bowl of cornflakes you found in the kitchen and finding out that your little brother has misplaced his scab collection. Why is a Yugo called a Yugo? Because you go, and it don't! Q: What do you call a Yugo that breaks down after 100 miles? A: An overachiever. What did Princess Grace have that Natalie Wood could have used? A good stroke. Q: Are You a Almond Joy or Mounds A: Almond Joy got nuts, Mounds don't Why did people in the 80s live like kings? Because they went to Burger King Why is Michael Jackson like the Dodgers' infield? They all wear one glove for no apparent reason. The Dodgers had terrible defense in the 80s...


Q Hear about the new band featuring Ronald Regan and Milli Vanilli? They don't remember any of the songs they didn't sing. 


 What would the band be called if Duran Duran and The Go-Go's got together? Durango-Durango What do you call Pac-Man on drugs? Crack-Man!


 How can you stop a Yugo with just one finger? Push in the cigarette lighter. How many letters are in the alphabet? 22, cuz E.T. went home and somebody shot J.R. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapled to the punk rockers lip. Why was Michael Jackson grounded? He was "Bad" What do you call a Yugo built for two? A two-go How are Madonna's knees like the Beatles? They'll never get back together. Deck the halls with gasoline, falalalalalalala Strike a match and watch it gleam, falalalalalalalala Burn the schoolhouse down to ashes, falalalalalalalala Aren't you glad you play with matches? falalalalalalalala (to the tune of deck the halls) Why does a Yugo have a rear defroster? To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it. What is Ronald Reagan's favorite pick-up line at a bar? "Do I come here often?" How do you get a Cure fan out of a tree? Cut the rope What did Marvin Gaye's father say to him before he shot him? "This is the last 45 you'll ever hear!" What was Marvin Gaye's last hit? Heard it through the carbine. What's the best part of owning a Yugo? You can always get a handicapped spot!!! If Milli Vanilli fall in the woods, does someone else make a sound? Why did Michael Jackson fail to renew his contract with Pepsi?Because he found out that the main ingerdient was Bubbles! What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught on fire?Beat-it! What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?A miracle How do you double the value of a Yugo?Fill the Tank



-- Edited by Ruby at 21:18, 2005-09-09

__________________
MzHartz


Permanent Vacation



Status: Offline
Posts: 23086
Date:
Permalink  

Aw man, I remember singing those versions of Deck the Hall and Joy to the World!!!!

__________________

tumblr_maefr2j2Bt1rrd8d6o1_500.gif

 
JD The Jazz Doctor


Grand Poobah

    



Status: Offline
Posts: 36897
Date:
Permalink  

LOL OUCH!!!!

__________________
"And like Web, I enjoy throwing JR under the bus.  Problem is, it's usually under the special bus that I ride every day". Ghostdancer 12-18-09
Trish


The Procrastinating Red-Head

Status: Offline
Posts: 1433
Date:
Permalink  

The sad thing is, the jokes that I got from a joke book back in 87 that I remember were not great now that I know what they mean. They were racist and ethnically intolerant. I can't believe they were at the school library. Different time, I guess. One that I remember that is not so bad:

Why do little Polish girls put fish in their underwear? So they'll smell like big Polish girls.

I didn't get what they were talking about for years. I was like a Sophomore in high school. Yep, I was a full blonde then.

__________________
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
Star


Super Star of Spice!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 1590
Date:
Permalink  

I might have told you guys this before but like trish I had this one wrong for longest time.


Ya know how when someone wears a lot of perfume they are called a ..French Whore.


I thought it was French Horse up until I was about 17 or 18.



__________________
I'm spicey!
Sparky


Phat Cat EL Presidente

    



Status: Offline
Posts: 12975
Date:
Permalink  

Ok, I wasn't going to tell this one before, but it fits.


A penguin (yes might be Riggs) was driving thru Arizona when his car broke down. He pulled into a mechanic and went next door to the Dairy queen to wait. He ordered an icecream cone but had a heck of a time eating it with his flippers and was a real mess. Afterwards he went back to the mechanic and asked what was wrong with his car?


The mechanic said it looks like you blew a seal.


The penguin said, no its just ice cream I swear....



__________________
Sometimes, when i'm lonely... i crawl into a laundry basket and tickle my ears. But, Some times I don't...
Star


Super Star of Spice!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 1590
Date:
Permalink  

I swear I didn't blow a seal!!




__________________
I'm spicey!
Molly


The Mediator

Status: Offline
Posts: 5356
Date:
Permalink  

Okay, the best racist joke I've ever heard, I mean no offense, but will still apologize in advance...

What's a Jewish dilemma?

Free ham.

__________________
Molly


The Mediator

Status: Offline
Posts: 5356
Date:
Permalink  

Oh wait, got another bad racist joke, again, no offense, I'm sorry...

A preist and a rabbi were chatting one day. The prest asks the rabbi, "I gotta know, have you ever eaten pork?"

"Yes, this once when I was a young and foolish rabbi, I tried it just once," the rabbi responds. "But I must know, have you ever had sex?"

"Yes, once when I was a young and foolish preist, I was tempted by the desires of the human flesh."

To which the rabbi replied, "Beats the hell out of pork, doesn't it?"

__________________
Anonymous

Date:
Permalink  

cute!

__________________
WebGuy


Doesn't Do Windows



Status: Offline
Posts: 25589
Date:
Permalink  


This was one of my favorite jokes "back in the day" . . .





Did you hear about the Indian that drank three gallons of iced tea?







He died in his tea pee.





__________________


Sparky


Phat Cat EL Presidente

    



Status: Offline
Posts: 12975
Date:
Permalink  

You Know You're Getting Old When...

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You can live without sex, but not without glasses.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age... And isn't breaking any laws.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

People call at 9 pm. And ask, "Did I wake you?"

You answer a question with "Because I said so!"

You send money to PBS.

The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

You take a metal detector to the beach.

You wear black socks with sandals.

You know what the word equity means.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You can go bowling without drinking.


__________________
Sometimes, when i'm lonely... i crawl into a laundry basket and tickle my ears. But, Some times I don't...
Trish


The Procrastinating Red-Head

Status: Offline
Posts: 1433
Date:
Permalink  

You mean there are actually people that bowl without drinking?

__________________
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
Star


Super Star of Spice!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 1590
Date:
Permalink  

yes, they are my ex-husband.


Sparky, you should do stand up!!


And molly - free ham!!



__________________
I'm spicey!
Anonymous

Date:
Permalink  

Too cute Sparks!!

__________________
Molly


The Mediator

Status: Offline
Posts: 5356
Date:
Permalink  

Bowling without drinking? Where's the challenge in that?

__________________
Trish


The Procrastinating Red-Head

Status: Offline
Posts: 1433
Date:
Permalink  

Yeah, if I fell down without being drunk while I bowl, what fun would that be? I would just be a clutz (which I am) and I would actually FEEL the pain. Bring on the Bud Lt. and the 7 lb bowling ball!

__________________
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Freeze-Frame Radio -> Freeze-Frame Radio Lounge -> 80s jokes
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard