I know some of us are married, but I took it anyway. I got the big fat 0!
Can you get over your past?
By Margot Carmichael Lester
September is Self-Improvement Month, and for those of us on the hunt for love, perhaps the most self-improving thing we can do is get rid of some baggage. Yup, we all carry some emotional baggage with us. As for its size and shape, it might be a slim wallet, a veritable steamer trunk or something in between. But it’s there—the remnants and wreckage of your past that you just can’t get rid of.
You may think you’ve got it whittled down to a stylish roll-aboard or perhaps a designer backpack, but how does that jibe with reality? If you’re not getting what you want from your relationships, you might have more baggage than you think. Take this fun quiz to find out if your baggage is taking up so much space in your life that there’s no room for love.
1. Which term best describes your emotional baggage:
Rabbits. I swear there’s more of it every day. (Score = -1)
Heinous mold. I can’t seem to get rid of it. (Score = 1)
A bad check. It bounces back into my life when I can least afford to deal with it. (Score = 2)
My annual performance review. It doesn’t crop up often, but it’s still inconvenient. (Score = 3)
My shadow. It’s there all the time, but it doesn’t bother me much. (Score = 4)
2. A co-worker wants to set you up. You respond:
“Why bother? I’m still smarting from my last break-up.” (Score = -1)
“I’m thinking of swearing off dating, actually…” (Score = -1)
“Don’t. It’ll end up just like every other date I’ve been on—badly.” (Score = 1)
“No thanks; I’m not ready to date again just yet.” (Score = 2)
“Sure, if you think you know someone who’s right for me.” (Score = 3)
“Terrific. I like expanding my social network, even if the romance thing doesn’t work out.” (Score = 4)
3. Let’s say you finally wanted to ditch your baggage and start fresh. The baggage you would need to clear out of your life first would fill which of the following:
An airplane hangar. (Score = -1)
An attic or basement (and maybe a shed). (Score = 1)
An extra-large storage unit. (Score = 2)
A trunk or foot locker. (Score = 3)
A briefcase or purse. (Score = 4)
4. When you start a new relationship, you:
Why start one? They never last. (Score = -1)
Worry; you know you may well get hurt. (Score = 1)
Feel somewhat hopeful; you accept that unsuccessful relationships are part of the journey on the road to finding true love. (Score = 2)
Optimistic; this could be the start of a really great romance. (Score = 3)
Thrilled; you’re counting on this being The One. (Score = 4)
5. Which John Cusack movie title best describes you:
Better Off Dead – you’re feeling as if you’d rather die than date again. (Score = -1)
Floundering – you’d like a relationship, but you don’t want to get hurt again. (Score = 1)
Hot Pursuit – you’re trying hard to find love. Maybe a little too hard. (Score = 2)
Must Love Dogs - you’re seeking your mate with a good idea of what you need in a partner… and what won’t work for you. (Score = 3)
America’s Sweethearts – you’ve cleared out your baggage and are ready to find your romantic lead. (Score = 4)
Less than 0: You’ve got so much baggage, there’s hardly room for you—much less anyone else. Start cleaning out your emotional attic by chatting with a professional or a member of the clergy to explore your issues and start dealing with them.
0-5: Take a page from that Clean Sweep show and clear out some emotional space. Investigate the problems that are holding you back from love and then take concrete steps to work through them.
6-10: Skycap! You’re going to have to check a few bags. But with a little more effort (be it short-term therapy or working through a self-help book), you could rid yourself of the extra weight and begin the serious search for love.
11-15: There’s still some junk lying around, but you’re in pretty good shape. Why not have an emotional yard sale (a “let’s complain” session with your pals) to ditch the last of it?
16-20: You’ve unloaded a lot of your emotional flotsam and jetsam, so there’s plenty of room for love in your life. Get out there to some parties, post an online profile and make a great relationship happen.
