If my wife was having phone/cyber sex with antoher man, I think I would consider it cheating. I don't think I would pack up and leave over it, but I would stil feel cheated on.

Hm, I think there are too many factors to consider for a straight yes or no answer. For example, I think with a boyfriend/girlfriend it's not a big deal if you're not really commited. For example, if it's an exclusive thing, but you have no clue if you'll be with that person for the rest of your life or not. But if you move in together or get engaged, it becomes more than exclusive, you're now committed, and phone or cyber sex is a much more serious offense.

Also, I think it makes a difference who you are having phon or cyber sex with. If you know the person in real life, I agree that it might as well be cheating. If you don't know the person in real life, but have phone or cyber sex with them exclusively, it may likely lead to cheating. If it's a different person every time, I don't think it's as likely to lead to physical cheating and is more along the lines of interactive porn. I still do not think it is appropriate for a married person, though.

In my own personal case, it was a different person every time, I did not live with my then boyfriend yet, and in fact, we hadn't even talked about moving in together.

I suppose that it all made good college furniture, huh?

I miss Ruby.

Me too. I hope her and the family are doing okay.

I miss dave during the day. thats not dirty little or a secret!

 

            Dave misses Dave being here during the day too!

I have a couple of crushes on people in this room

I used to be into s& M  when I was in Germany ( i beat people for money)

I slept with a guy at work then had sex with him and his wife

I slept with a guy then slept  with his partner

I'm.... honored?

So you haven't confronted him?

Like I said before, it doesn't matter who it's with, that's something you just don't do if you're married.

Anon,
I was gut punched the same way. A girlfriend had been talking to guys on the internet...the problem was she decided she wanted to meet one of them...so as bad as talking explicitly with someone might seem, the greater temptation is wanting to meet someone and take things a step further. I can understand how you feel a trust may have been breached, because it has been...but clearly, the point of no return,the unforgiveable hasnt taken place hopefully.

Anon, it's an issue that needs to be addressed, because even if he hasn't sent another email, it's still causing a rift between you. I'm not big on psychiatrists, but you might consider some marriage counseling. You need to be able to talk through it without fighting about it, and to do that you need a third party that doesn't know you.

Anon...

The problem is he hasnt acknowledged he has hurt you.  It is one thing to say you are sorry...it is another to mean it and make amends.  You probably havent been able to forgive him because he hasnt made you feel he was sorry.  I dont know if that is in his nature or not.  But you wont be able to move past this till he understands your hurt and reciprocates with an apology and a promise never to hurt you like this again. That is what I would do if I were in his shoes.  That is what I would (and did) want if (when) I was in your shoes.