>Why did God make mothers?
>1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
>2. Mostly to clean the house.
>3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
>
>How did God make mothers?
>1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
>2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
>3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger
>parts.
>
>What ingredients are mothers made of?
>1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
>the world and one dab of mean.
>2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
>string, I think.
>
>Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
>1. We're related.
>2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
>
>What kind of little girl was your Mom?
>1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
>2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
>bossy.
>3. They say she used to be nice.
>
>What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
>1. His last name.
>2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk
>on beer?
>3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
>chores?
>
>Why did your Mom marry your dad?
>1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
>2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
>3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
>
>Who's the boss at your house?
>1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
>ball.
>2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
>bed.
>3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
>
>What's the difference between moms and dads?
>1. Moms work at work and work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
>2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
>3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power cause
>that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
>Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
>
>What does your Mom do in her spare time?
>1. Mothers don't do spare time.
>2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
>
>What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
>1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
>plastic surgery.
>2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
>
>If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
>1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid
>of that.
>2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did
>it and not me.
>3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back
>of her head.