i work in the office of a construction company.  everyone knows that it is a rule for nudie or practically nudie girl calendars to hang up in the shop, right?  well, being the mischievous gal that i am, i let my inner child draw scars, moustaches, beards and horns on ms. april (april's fool).  it was such innocent fun, until one of the millwrights was ready to kick one of the laborers a$$ (who was also very ornery), and i had to confess that it was me.  i know at the time he wanted to kick my a$$ too.  he chilled about it and for christmas i'd give him a girly calendar with ms. april all marked up. 

Since I told one on her, I guess I have to tell one on me too.  To this day (literally I got teased today) I still get razzed in regard to this, not only by Pambo but also by her daughter...

One day I got just flamingly angry at a guy who called me to tell me he wiped out all the data for a project I had been working on for about 6 months.  Poof... be gone.  Nothing can be done about it.  I'm so mad I'm quite literally shaking  and thinking about going to find this guy in person. Pambo knows I'm that mad, so she makes me go outside with her so she can try to calm me down.  I'm in such a major black mood that I don't even look up as I'm getting off the elevator in the lobby of the building. Doors open, I start walking.  All of a sudden, my internal proximity sensor starts screaming and I look up as I'm half a step away from this guy I've never met doing a face plant in my hooters.  Dude is smiling like he just won the lottery and isn't even trying to avoid this collision. Pambo grabs me by the shirt and hurls me across the lobby because she knows I will rip this guy's head off.  We go outside and eventually I calm down.  She starts ribbing me about my "new boyfriend".  This guy is about 5'4" (same as me), heavily tattooed, obviously a body builder, and most probably in management, definitely retired military type. We don't know his name, so he gets dubbed "McGilla Gorilla".  I forget about it until the next day when we are again standing outside and Pambo cracks up lauging.  It seems McGilla Gorilla just emerged from the building next door, is walking toward our building and has obviously already spied me standing there, judging by the fixed stare and the goofy grin. Sure enough, he makes a point to say 'hello' as he goes by. This scene repeats itself several times over the couple weeks.

Then comes the reorg announcement.  We don't know who our new director is, but the description we got is "He's very military." Uh-oh!  Couldn't be!!  Pambo is convinced it is and now the whole crew of smoke break ladies has heard the story.  It has been duely noted by one who had a major case of the hots for McGilla that I am the only one of the crew that he acknowledges... and never fails to say hello to me. They challenge me to find out who he is, but I'm not allowed to directly ask him questions. Pondering this, I head off for the weekend. Saturday comes around and I'm doing my normal shopping. Just finished at the check out stand, heading out the door when I hear a male voice behind me, "Hello. Imagine my luck running into you here." NO WAY!... couldn't be... yup... it is. So we chat a while.  Nice guy. Not destined to be our boss. Ironically though, at present he is my other best friend's boss. I called Pambo to tell her about running into him. Boy did that light the razz Mema fire!

Here it is, 5 years after the elevator incident and still I get a big goofy grin and a "hello" every time I see him. Pambo's daughter witnessed him giving me the cutesy "finger wave" in the cafeteria once. She also witnessed him stand there and shamelessly lie to me about getting a woman's name tattooed on his arm. He swears his new tattoo  is a tomahawk that got a bad staph infection so he can't show it to me because it is all messed up.

Oh my, CP!  That would be mortifying... but hey... free Jack.  They must have been impressed.

I told Pambo about this thread on Friday.  She got totally amused that I ratted me out on the McGilla Gorilla story but said she probably would have gone with the fact that for some weird reason it seems random co-workers periodically feel compelled to show me their undergarments, bellies, tattoos, and such. And I'm not so much talking about the guys...I'm talking about the women.

I don't ask for this... it just happens.  One Valentine's Day a co-worker I rarely speak to and don't really know came to my desk to show me the undergarment she was wearing "special" for her husband... all this because I was dressed in a red skirt and off white blouse.  I didn't ask about her attire at all.  She was actually offended that I refused to discuss MY undergarments with her. 

There seems to be an endless stream of women who have absolutely no compunction about adjusting hosery and so forth right in front of me.  Ummm... modesty, ma'am?  None for you, thanks?  Alrightie then!! I'll just be moving along now since I don't want to see this!!