The punishment of the boy... - Freeze-Frame Radio

Molly · The Mediator

RE: The punishment of the boy...

disco strangler · Smiles everyone, smiles!

great news ruby! i hope he is able to realize that although this is a punishment, the journey can also lead him to great opportunity. i hope he chooses to surround himself with positive energy.

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

Ok after two days or roughly 16 hours of community service the boy is done. I told her yesterday that he would get two days in this week and the rest of the hours would be performed next week. When I went to get him today they were so impressed with his work ethic- that they said they would fudge the hours and fax them in to the solictor's office on Monday of next week!

They went on and on about how hard he worked and never took a break. He spent 8 hours yesterday packing up every 8th graders history book, then unpacked the new ones, loaded them on the shelves and broke down the boxes. Today he cleaned out EVERY locker in the whole school! I was happy to hear something nice, but I wished they would have made him fulfill the whole 25 hours. Oh well- karma!

Woo Hoo · The Chosen Woo

It's nice that he did a good job though! We get a lot of poopy community service kids! It tells you exactly why they need it.

Mad Mema · Bad Biker Granny

It sounds like they put him to hard labor for the time he did spend there. That is a good thing. Perhaps he will take this as a lesson learned and conform his behavior.

I wish him the best of luck in high school... it's not an easy place to be.

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

Did you have to remind me Mema? JK!

I have been VERY open with him over the last few months about high school and things he might get in trouble for. Some I admitted to- being caught making out in a car with steamy windows, being at a party where the cops busted it up (and not even having to be drinking) and things I might have done that I would not be honest with him about- drinking and driving, fights, harmless pranks (vandalism- egging, teepeeing, etc...)

He has to be clean all through high school. THAT IS A TALL order. I am a realist. I do believe that this four month+ punishment is GREAT for him, but I am not sure that it would deter even the best kid from screwing up again. Even if it small.

But I am also telling him how what I love about FFR orginated in high school. A feeling that does not go away. A memory like no other. I want him to remember high school in a postive way. I had ups and downs, but I liked it mostly. I was not all into the school thing- prom etc... But I know high school can be rough, but it can be great too- if he does not screw it up. The boy that he spray painted the neighborhood last year I heard was expelled the first couple of months of school for drugs in the classroom. He had been in trouble though before so he was arrested and sent away for a month. I just hope that will scare him too.

MzHartz · Permanent Vacation

It sounds like maybe he is actually 'getting it'. That's awesome! I'm sure being up front with him about some of the trouble you got into in high school (although not all ;) ) helped too. It sounds like he's not so bad of a kid after all.

JD The Jazz Doctor · Grand Poobah

My suggestion would be to just make sure he has plenty to do- both school-work wise and fun wise. A hobby or 8. Canooing, Racket-ball, kite-flying, whatever! When I look back at those years in my life, the drinking and drugs came in BECAUSE WE WERE BORED!!!! PERIOD. There is only so many times you can go late-night bowling, there are only so many movies you can afford to see.

I do not blame my folks at all, they were, and still were very hard-working people. But being so, they were tired. They were just happy to stay awake each night till maybe 10 o'clock. And they were (still are) good people and good parents. But they were too beat to do too much else. They were just like the other parents I knew- we kids were left to do what kids do.

Anything detrimental would have been avoided if we just would have had something better to do. Building something, white water rafting, something constructive.

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

Well, Wednesday we get to wrap everything up. We are doing an adult jail tour because the bus they use to take the kids to a juvenille facility broke down and he is not sure when it will be fixed. So Wednesday from 3-4 he will do an adult jail tour and then he will be done! I even found out that he does not need a second drug test cause the first was negative! Woo hoo that would have been another $200! So say a prayer that this is it!

Molly · The Mediator

Awesome! The adult jail tour might be a little better and teach him more of a lesson anyway.

disco strangler · Smiles everyone, smiles!

Ruby wrote:

Well, Wednesday we get to wrap everything up. We are doing an adult jail tour because the bus they use to take the kids to a juvenille facility broke down and he is not sure when it will be fixed. So Wednesday from 3-4 he will do an adult jail tour and then he will be done! I even found out that he does not need a second drug test cause the first was negative! Woo hoo that would have been another $200! So say a prayer that this is it!

you say "we" as in you get to go with him? it will be good to finally put this behind you. does he talk about how this has impacted him? i hope it is all positive. y'all will be in my thoughts & prayers.

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

We, meaning I will drive him, I am thinking I can't go because of the female thing and I would not want my son to hear the jailbirds hooting at his mom. (not that I am that special, but when you are in jail EVERYTHING looks good!) So I will take a book and wait in the lobby.

He has opened up to me and I think this might be the end, we will see. He has kept two close friends through all of this and we all talk about it openly. They rag him and tell me he is a good kid, just made a few bad decisions. I have asked them both to let me know if he is going down the wrong path, but I am not sure they would. He knows he has a hard road ahead of him as he reenters school in August, but I am hoping he will find an interest there and we will be ok!

disco strangler · Smiles everyone, smiles!

bless his heart. i hope he is able to surround himself with friends that encourage him to stay gold. he will learn that those are the friends that won't abandon him. i know you will encourage him to learn from his past and not to live in it.

Sparky · Phat Cat EL Presidente

That's good news Ruby!

I wasn't the greatest kid growing up, I had a cousin that seemed to lead me down a lot of wrong paths. By the time I turned 16 or 17 I decided it was time for me to grow up. I turned out pretty decent (I think). So there is definately hope for the boy. If he ever needs someone (other than Mom) to talk to who has been there done that let me know.

The best thing that I did was join the Police Cadet program, I got to be on the other side of it all and it was great! Just an idea to look into.

-- Edited by Sparky at 16:07, 2006-07-17

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

Thanks!

You did turn out good! Ally should appreciate that!

JD The Jazz Doctor · Grand Poobah

aw heck yea! I hope the tour is a lasting impression that will stick with him! a little fear is a good thing!

Ruby · The Good Witch Of The South

And so it ends- maybe. I can't dwell on the future too much though. Just pray and keep my eyes and ears open and continue to be in his face, his business and keep him busy however possible.

But to reflect on today was just horrible. I had a good cry in the parking lot. I went to jail for an unpaid parking ticket when I was pregnant with him. I barely remember it, but the cop said I had a warrant and he had to take me to jail until court started so that he could find out what the warrant was for. When they realized it was for a unpaid ticket- I was immediately released. Maybe the whole ordeal took three hours. From getting pulled over to getting released. But I knew it left me uneasy.

Fast forward to today. YUCK was all I can say. Everything just freaked me out. It is a whole other world, that frankly I can say I am blessed not to live in. I realize a lot of those people do not know better, but I do and so does he. Just my part- watching him leave with all the other deliquents, signing him in, watching people being released, girls bringing their kids to see their dads, etc... the whole experience was unnerving. I went down the street to get the girl a lunchable for her field trip tomorrow and even the grocery store was bad. The jail is in a really bad part of town and very poor. The clerks were rude, the people smelled, the place was dirty and I was ready to get out of there.

The boy is usually very quiet, but today he blabbed right away. That was the worst part of this whole punishment he told me. He was called names (though he would not tell me what) by the jailbirds. They told him where the phrase and look of "busting a sag" came from, they showed them a taser, solitary confinement, and then lectured them. He seemed just as unnerved as me. That was a comfort and hope a change will occur. Only time will tell.

I will pray for all tonight- him, the people who are trying to deter him and for all those people I encountered today. may God bring peace to all our lives.

JD The Jazz Doctor · Grand Poobah

that's gonna be a lasting impression and good deterrent!

I think you've got the right idea too Ruby- keeping him busy. In hind-site I think of so much better stuff I could have been doing in highschool than what I did- kayaking, biking, hiking....we were just bored. There was only so many movies to see and only so many times you wanted to do midnight bowling. I don't blame my folks or any of my friends folks- they were very hard-working people and were tired. but we were left to our own devices for entertaining ourselves and that led down some bad paths. Just a bit more guidance would have helped.

I hope he will be ok too.

Jeremy Riggs · 2011 Super Bowl Champions!

This might just have been enough to make him think twice in the future Ruby. For your sake and his I really hope so.

I'll continue to keep him and your entire family in my prayers.

Woo Hoo · The Chosen Woo

Sounds like he got the type of experience he needed from that.