Molly wrote:

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How long has it been? You might just have to let her grieve.

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She has been with him 5 years, since High School.  She is now a Sophomore at college.  He doesn't go to college, he is a laborer, and is pretty much in a dead end job.  He is 20 years old also.  They broke up this past Sunday, and my daughter has not heard from him in anyway.  She holds on to her cell phone 24/7.  And is constantly checking the computer for an email, I think.

I agree with the grieving process will just have to happen. Maybe buy her a book- a devotional or even a steamy novel! I know that time heals all wounds. Just be there for her. Leave the lines of communication open. Maybe you have had a broken heart and could share your experience? That you do move on, it just takes time. I know in awhile she will look back and feel better, but time is the only healer.

 

I will pray for her. It sounds like in the end it might work out. She has plans for the future and he does not. That never really seems to work out.

It is definately all consuming right now at this point.  IT is so fresh. As selfish as this sounds I am hoping he doesn't call, and he is serious about ending it. Even though I know a phone call from him would mean the world to her.  But he is just not the guy I want my daughter to end up with.  I know first loves are the hardest, but she is so young and beautiful, and she has never given other guys a chance, because she has always been with him... .if you know what I mean.

Part of me wishes she'd heal right away, and move on quickly, part of me knows that there is a chance she could get back w/ him, which I hope DOES NOT happen.

Buying her a book is a good idea, and I will talk to her today about possibly seeing a relationship / family counselor as well. 

Moping around is just something she has to go through. It's hard to watch but it is normal. Just keep an eye on how long it lasts. I dealt with some depression so it always took me longer. Then I didn't want want people to talk to me about what was wrong so I put on my happy face but when I was in my room it was a different story. I'm sure that she will be fine.

Dave....nicely said 

jstdve wrote:

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    Just once I'll try to be of some help ( fear of a nightstick upside head will do that )   Time . Let it run its course ,  This has been a major blow to her and nothing anyone says will make her feel any better . Then one day some guy will say " hey baby, wanna come over to my place and check out my stuffed animal collection ? " and she'll forget all about ole whats his name .  least thats how it went for me , cept it was a girl .  Me ,  I'd keep my mouth close and my eyes open for awhile before I hit the panic button .

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Dave:  So at one time a girl asked you come check out her stuffed animal collection?? Wow, sounds like a hot night!!

But seriously, I got your point and hopefully someone will come along to help her heal.

You mean like your ma and pa feeding me steak and beer at a BBQ and telling me I should meet their daughter? Then it turns out we allready knew each other and had flirted back and fourth for about a year.

uumm thump are you feeling ok?  oh ok, I just have him fooled.

actually the guy I mean loser I was seeing at the time got mad an took me home for flirting with Sparky one night.

Darlene,

 

I feel her pain. I think most of us have had that at one time. I was in love with a girl ( YEs at one point I was straight) I was fortunate enough she was the first girl I met when we moved to Oklahoma when I was 7. back then you dont know anything but she was my playmate since her family lived next to mine. we used to play, we went to the water park and went camping to. We were that way until she moved when she was 11.

My family moved to Sapulpa in 1985 and one day while I was out mowing there was a girl staring at me ( she thought I was cute. she must have been blind) But come to find out it was her. Her family moved to Sapulpa when they moved earlier and now lived on the same street we did.   (we were 13 by this time. ) We cared about each other deeply and were the best of friends. We were both in Band, Orchestra and Choir together. Her Name was Charlotte. We went to lunch everyday and hung around at Disneyworld when the class went on a trip there. We did everything together. I always thought we were going steady even tho the question was never asked.  in my Junior year I started noticing little changes in her. we didnt go out to eat as much, we never hung out after the football games anymore, and she stopped answering my phone calls.  in time it came to total avoidance.  I was heartbroken and hurt that she would do this to me. I finally cornered her and asked her what was wrong. she told me she needed space and she was sstarting to feel things  that were not good and plus she was conflicted ( mostly family troubles and music troubles and just needed time away from me to try to clear her head.

She moved out of town that year and I never saw her again. She never told me she was leaving or that she would not tell me good bye.  my Senior year graduation ( she was gone a little over a year by this time) I recieved a card in the mail congratulating me on my graduation. THere was no return address on the card. and no signature inside. Instead there was a letter. It was ffrom Charlotte. saying how sorry she was that she never told me good bye. She moved to Anaheim California with her family. She told me no other information. She was dating someone there in CA who seemed nice. ( they later married) she told me she will always value our friendship and never forget the times we had. she even gave me a friendship bracelet ( it had our birthstones in it ( Pearl and Emerald). I was heartbroken and crushed. and felt like the world ended when she left. However I realized that it just was not meant to be.

 

Your daughter is a bright beautiful young lady Darlene who has the Whole world ahead of her.  This will be a difficult road for her with it beign her first however Time will heal and she will move on. Like Dave said someone will peak her interest in music and some goofy guy with blue eyes and curly hair will bring her out of her daze and she will move on. Keep the lines of communication open and just let her know that you are here if you need to talk.

Much love to the both of ya and I would just let her work though it on her own. in a couple of weeks she will start to come around.

Wow Thump that was a moving story, and you told it so sincerely.  I appreciate your opening up to me.  I am watching her and making sure she is okay.

Last night while she was at work at TGIFriday's, I Imed her because her IMer was on with an away message, and I told her I loved her, and if she needed anything to let me know.  I am sure she read it when she got home last night.  I was already in bed, but she at least knows. 

Today she was going over Xboyfriends house to gather some of her things she has left over there.

Thanks again for all your prayers and thoughts,

Darlene