The only time I did the nobody calls the police, no insurance thing was when some schmuck driving illegally across a parking lot hit my bumper.  I was driving a '95 Taurus LX, he was driving a BMW 325I.  His car had about a basketball sized dent from where my bumper hit his front quarter panel.  My bumper was scuffed a bit and had a small crack but the wost damage I took was a broken turn signal light.  At the time Kev was working for an auto parts store, so getting the light fixed was really cheap.  I paid my bill, dude paid his. I just didn't feel like waiting on the police and I figured since dude was begging me to not call them that he probably didn't have insurance anyway.

Given the damage you describe, I would say the car definitely needs to go to the dealership to get fixed on the other person's dime.  If you think he's good for the money, then don't call your insurance. If you even remotely suspect he might not be able to cover it, then go the whole nine yards.

Glad you are okay!