I think as long as they are truely in love (not just looking for a rich old guy or a young woman to display), as long as the younger party is over 18, there is no such thing as too much. It really depends on the relationship.

But then again, I have to say that, there's 12 years between my husband and I...

My dad just turned 73 and his wife is 55. This is both of their second marriages, both were widows. She must like them older though, cause her first one was older too. They are very much in love and he is alive today because of her- she gave him her kidney last year. But she is taking care of him now because his health is not the best always. They seem really happy though and if she wants to live life as a caregiver- more power to her!

My hubby is 7 years older than me, but that is nothing now- maybe when we were younger yeah, but not now.

I read the Diary of Malcom X right about the time the movie came out. For whatever reason, the followers of Muhhamad believe that the perfect age for a wife is to take the man's age, divide by 2, and add 7.

So suppose a guy is 36. /2=18 (OMG.....I am 2 x18!!!!) NEVER MIND YOU DO THE REST OF THE MATH I AM IN SHOCK!  

Trish wrote:

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I agree it's about the love. True love is hard enough to find without putting age restrictions on it. As long as both parties are of legal age, I say go for it. That being said, I do kind of cringe, though, when I hear of some 20 year old with a 60 year old (ex. Billy Joel and his woman). I just couldn't see being married to someone older than my dad. I still think it's about love, but there does get to a point that there is an ewwww factor. Does that make any sense at all?

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that's so funny! because my daughter still tells me the same thing...  i tell her that she ought to be used to it by now.  i could see the eewww factor, i.e., ann nicole smith...  or maybe that was a double eewwww!

Darlene, if you're gonna have an age gap that's the better direction I think. There's a better chance you two will check out closer to each other.

Every older woman I know in my family wound up having to live 10 to 20 years or more after their husband died because well, men just go sooner on average, and USUALLY the guy was 7 - 10 years older to begin with.

When you're 65 or 70, and the love of your life passes away, you're not left with a whole lot else it seems. I KNOW there are exceptions, there always are, but in general, it seems those last years alone are just a much sadder time where the person truly FEELS alone. Their kids have grown up and have their own lives, and much of their day to day routine centered around their spouse, expecially since they've been retired and spent every day together.

I am a little over 3 1/2 years older than Allycat, its not bad now but when we met she was still in High School. I used to call the school and say I was her dad and get her out of school for the day. I have no problem with the age thing at all.

Woo, what probably bothers you in the back of your mind is your step dad is closer in age to your husband maybe?

Sparky wrote:

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 Woo, what probably bothers you in the back of your mind is your step dad is closer in age to your husband maybe?

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i used to laugh about that because at one time my sister, boyfriend and step-dad were all the same age!

The boyfriend is the ex-stalker guy not hubby.

So now it's my sister is the oldest, then step-dad, then hubby.

Only by MAY, JULY, then MARCH.

JR:

Only downfall to the whole age gap between myself and BF, is that he has a daughter from a previous marriage that is only 3 years old.  (and is in the terrible 3 stage, every word out of her mouth is bratty) and I have a daughter from my last marriage, who is 20!!  Talk about age gap.  At one time both my daughter and his daughter were sharing a bedroom.   When his 3 year old spent the night, she had to sleep in my daughter's room in a crib.  But that was before the NEW house....

-- Edited by darleneapd at 10:00, 2006-07-25

Trish wrote:

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DS, I don't think it's bad if it's like 20 years, but when you go talking 40 years, that's where the ew factor comes in. No matter what anyone thinks, everyone has to live their own life. It's so much easier to pass judgement on other people than to look at ourselves. When couples that I know have gotten divorced and someone starts to say something about it, I remind them "You weren't in the marriage. You don't know all of it. What you see may not be all there is to it." OR as my friend Siaon always used to say "Keep your own boogers in your own nose." Viva love!

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love the booger quote!  can i use it?

i have to admit, if my mother started dating someone my age, i would be pretty grossed out! 

I know a lady that is married for the 2nd time and has kids younger than her grandkids from her first marriage.

thats awsome to have a good enough relationship and the energy to start over when you have adult children. I hope when little A is 25 I feel that good.

Age is just a state of mind anyway and everyone knows it. I agree with a lot of what has been previously mentioned. When there is true love and compatibility age shouldn't matter. It becomes creepy when you hit that 20-25 year difference when it could be like dating one of your parents.

Age was a big thing when one person was in college and the other early in high school. It was a big no no by most parents. Then there was someone still in college and the other already graduated. But I think that mentality of it being wrong disappears as we get older. There was less of a deal as we moved from level to level in life.

DS - I use that phrase all the time, especially with my kids. If my daughter starts to tattle on her brother, I whip it out. On a cross-over from another thread - you know you're a FFR addict when you get your best quotes from other forum members. I can't remember who said it, but it was a forum member (maybe CP or Sparky?) that had a grandpa that said "I would like to buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth." I have used that sooooooo much!